KGB stands for Kinks Get Bolsheviks

So today I learned that intelligence agencies like the CIA and FBI ask potential new employees about their fetishes and kinks, because some dude once got blackmailed into spying for the Russians because they knew he was kinky. He got blackmailed because he was too ashamed to admit to his kinks.

My initial reaction to this question was that it's pointless to ask someone if they have any shameful skeletons in their closet, because they're sure as hell not going to admit to such a thing to an interviewer. But then I had another idea.

Thinking about it a little more, I realize who would be perfect for that kind of job: someone who is kinky as fuck and not at all ashamed of it.

"Hello, I am with KGB. We have discovered you like being dressed like baby and spanked."

"I should hope so! My main user ID is BabySpanxALot420, after all."

"..."

"What we mean, Mr. Smith, is that we have pictures of a woman who is not your wife feeding you baby food while you sit in a high chair."

"Oh yeah, that's Jennifer. She's my and my wife's girlfriend. We're openly polyamorous."

"I... well... still, it is highly embarrassing if we should expose these photos of you and her to the world, is it not?"

"Not really. I mean, you got them from FetLife, I presume? I use the same username there as I do everywhere. Even my Facebook profile has pictures like that on there."

"But... we..."

"Were you gentlemen trying to get to some point?"

"Er... yes. We were going to blackmail you into betraying your country..."

"Using publicly available photos that I posted to the Internet myself?"

"..."

"Um... never mind. You have a good day, Mr. Smith."