⛧ First Church of Hypocrisy, Blasphemy, and Self-Righteousness ⛧

You wake up and you're the only person left on Earth, what is the first thing(s) you will do?

Once I was done being confused and searching for people, I'd find a ham radio set and a book on how to use the thing, and start sending out messages in case there were others. Probably try to contact the ISS, too, just in case.

Once I'd become convinced that I wasn't going to find anybody anytime soon, I'd take some time to mourn and cry. Probably at the same time, I'd start looking for car batteries and equipment to try to rig up something to keep my CPAP running once the power starts going out, and solar panels to charge the batteries, since I literally cannot sleep without my CPAP.

Having determined that everybody just vanished, I would hunt around the neighborhood for the nicest house to squat in because my apartment is so small, and I'm all alone now, so why not? Probably also scavenge stuff from businesses and people's houses as I go. I'd focus on jerky, canned meats, MRE's, and other non-perishables. But I'd also look for porn, books to read, etc.

Oh, and I would have to raid a few pharmacies for my meds. Luckily I don't have any meds I can't live without, so when they run out I'll be annoyed but it won't be a huge deal. About the only thing I'd really need a lot of for my remaining life is pain relievers, since I get a lot of headaches.

I think I would clear all the meat out of the nearby stores, cook or freeze or otherwise preserve what I can, and pile the rest of it in a dumpster, pour gasoline on it, and light it on fire so it doesn't rot and stink up the building, or attract predators. I'd do the same for houses I break into, as well.

Since this is Portland, in my house hunting I'd probably pick a house with a chicken coop. Chickens may be mean little bastards, but they're relatively easy to keep, being omnivores. It'd be a long term supply of protein, and I know how to preserve eggs without a fridge or freezer. I haven't done it before, but I remember the instructions. Oh and hopefully I could find a place that also has goats. Which I would keep mostly for meat. (I don't care for milk, and I don't know how to make cheese.) Also I would need some way to control all the Himalayan Blackberry patches that grow around here, as well as the English Ivy once the people aren't there anymore to keep it from going out of control like the invasive weed it is.

Assuming cats and dogs are still alive, I'd let all the cats out of the houses and pounds (except a few of them for pets) and leave the dogs inside because dogs scare me, and I'm gonna have problems with the coyotes soon enough as it is, without having to deal with feral dogs as well. Or... no, scratch that. I'd go to the pound, get the dog-catcher equipment, round up a bunch of dogs from houses, and put them in the kennel for meat later. Feed them some of the meat before it goes bad, then when I ran out of meat, I'd raid the stores for dog food. I'd also raid a pet store so that when I ran out of dog food, I could feed them guinea pigs and other small animals. I'd probably eat the rabbits myself.

I'd go to a sport's shop and see if I can get a bow and arrows, or crossbows and bolts. (I can't stand the noise of guns, and I don't trust them anyway.) It'd be a learning curve, but less so than a gun I think, and I already have a little experience with bow and arrow.

Actually I'd probably get guns and ammo too, but in that case I'd tie them to posts around my property in a great circle, and tie strings around the triggers. Then if any coyotes or feral dogs (some probably were being walked when people vanished) or other critters come too close, I pull the appropriate string and BANG! If it doesn't kill them, it scares them away.

Oh and I would only wear as much clothing as necessary. In warm months, I'd just run around in nothing but sandals and an umbrella, and I'd have a belt with knives, sporran pouches to store jerky and other food in, a water bottle hanging from the belt, and anything else I might need with me when I'm out and about.

I'd find the nearest plant nursery or store with plants in it, and use the seedlings to make a garden for veggies. In the mean time, though, I would make the several hour long walk to the nearest Asian market I know about and scavenge all their pickled vegetables and fruits. Even if they taste bad, I need my veggies, and pickled veggies last longer than fresh ones. Then I'd probably raid the library for books about how to pickle veggies.

I guess once all the seedlings ran out on the annual plants, I'd have to start trying to grow things from seeds. Not looking forward to that. I guess I could also add books about local edible wild plants to my library or book store raids.

TBH, I'm not in great shape, and some places I'd need to go are a long goddamn way away. I do know how to drive, but as others have pointed out, gasoline goes bad. Cars would be useful for a while, but for long term use I would scavenge an e-bike from one of the local stores, as well as a trailer for it. (Using the solar panels to charge it, of course.)

Oh I'd probably scavenge inside the adult shops, too, for vibrators and porn and maybe even sex dolls.

Hmm... if this really happened, I'd also have time and space to go dancing naked in the woods.

Anyway, back on track: I'd probably start going insane after a while, so I'd need some kind of hobby to delay that as long as possible. Probably go downtown with a couple of the dogs I spared from the stew pot, have them carry stuff for me as we went up to the top of one of the skyscrapers and then I'd use a DIY slingshot made of rubber tubing and start chucking large rocks as far as possible just for funsies, see if I could hit any of the nearby buildings. Or if the power was somehow still working, find a freight elevator and drive a car up there and set things up so the car(s) can just drift in neutral off the side of the building. And motorcycles, too.

Or, much simpler to do, I could drive to a military base, break in, scavenge the rocket launchers, and then set up a series of cars for target practice somewhere. Oooh! Better yet: drive to some small town and just completely obliterate it with the rocket launchers. Maybe even drive a tank there and start using it to bulldoze buildings and cars.

Wait, no, fuck that. Go big or go home! I could drive to Seattle and just completely destroy as much of the city as possible.

Eh, that's enough for now.

When pure cesium meets water, it goes BOOM. So I just had a thought: if you make a bullet of cesium, would it survive long enough to penetrate a person's body? And would it then go BOOM when it meets the water in their body?

Anonamousanomoly asked: "Greetings! I'm looking for somebody willing to answer a couple of questions about religion for a college class I'm taking. You seem to be involved or at least familiar with LaVeyan Satanism perhaps...? I'll actually be doing a presentation on it as well. I am trying to leave bias (on my part) out of the equation, and present it as intellectually as possible. My ideal is a sort of open-dialogue environment, and this is really by definition an interview. Whatever your answer, thanks for your time!"

Me: Well the best place to start is http://www.religioustolerance.org/satanism.htm and http://www.religioustolerance.org/satanis1.htm . Also http://www.churchofsatan.com/Pages/index.html . But yes, I’d be willing to answer some questions as a former LaVeyan Satanist. (Still a Satanist, just no longer a LaVeyan.) Read the links I’ve provided and that should give you a good start to find good questions to ask. But if you have more general questions, that’s cool too. We can either continue it here on Tumblr’s Asks, or you can email me at alexander.antonin (at) gmail (dot) com .

I'd better not get a bunch of spam because of this.

Okay, what the hell? Is it just this computer I'm on (at the library), or did Livejournal get rid of its Writer's Block completely? I mean yeah, I mocked just about every question they came up with, but it gave me an excuse to post. I'll be sad if it's gone for good.

EDIT: Okay, it's just this computer, apparently.

Does anyone out there have any ideas for things for me to write about? Anything they would like me to blog about?