⛧ First Church of Hypocrisy, Blasphemy, and Self-Righteousness ⛧

I'm not agoraphobic, but I do stay home a lot just because I just hate dealing with the kinds of assholes I run into in the outside world:

1. Inconsiderate smokers and vapists¹ who smoke/vape on public sidewalks and around bus stops and if you ask them politely to please put it out because you're allergic, they scream at you that they can do "whatever the fuck" they want to do.

2. Creepy men.

3. Loud-ass motherfuckers talking on the bus and making an already uncomfortable experience ten times worse with their inane BS that I don't want to fucking hear because it's so fucking boring and they're so damned loud.

4. People who were introduced to the concept of bathing in their teens and have been like "No thank you" ever since, who usually smell not only of BO but also of piss and shit and beer.

5. People who think just because they love talking to random assholes in public means you do too, and won't fuckin take a goddamn hint, even one as big as wearing sunglasses, very obvious big headphones, and looking at my phone (even though doing so makes me carsick).

6. People riding their goddamned fucking bikes on the fucking sidewalk instead of the fucking road where they fucking damn well BELONG! Especially since they always get pissy if you refuse to move out of their way. THOSE particular assholes make me so tempted to ram my walking stick in their spokes as they ride by, or push them into traffic. (But I don't do either because I fear cops and prison.) Little kids doing so I don't mind, but I rarely see kids on bikes anymore. Hell, I almost never see kids out in public anymore unless they're with their parents, or preteens/teens in large groups using the public bus when there exists a school bus system FOR A REASON.

7. Which reminds me: preteens/teens in large groups using the public bus when there exists a school bus system FOR A REASON. But oh no, they'd rather turn the already overcrowded buses INTENDED FOR ADULTS into a sardine can from Hell every afternoon after getting out of school, because fuck everyone, I guess.

8. I am also made very uncomfortable by large groups of preteens and/or teens out and about in general. More so even than large groups of men.

9. Really loud, obnoxious people. I just wish everyone would SHUT THE FUCK UP when they're out in public.

10. Other various assorted assholes.

11. The fuckers who bring big ass fucking dogs on the bus, and they're not even service dogs. I have cynophobia, or fear of dogs. I'm okay with small dogs now but big ones still make me want to scream or wet myself. (Not run. Never run. Because then Cujo would chase me down and eat me.)

12. I'm not a fan of people who have big dogs out on the sidewalks, either. I always cross the street to avoid them whenever possible, or put my walking stick in front of me protectively in case I have to defend myself from those monsters.

13. OMG and people who have their dogs OFF LEASH should be tortured for their crimes.

But, you know, I still go out. Especially if I need to. Because for me it's not anxiety or fear (mostly), just severe irritation and anger.

~

Footnote:

1 = Vapists is my term for people who vape. I use it because it rhymes with "rapists," since they're raping my lungs with their toxic fumes.

I was at the grocery store just now and witnessed this elderly white lady getting all pissy because her card (not a debit or credit, some kind of out-of-state thing, I think it was a Michigan food stamps card or something of the sort) wasn't working "when it worked here two days ago, and I know I have enough money in there," yelling and making a spectacle of herself, saying things like "I'm not shopping here again!" and a lot of the other "entitled baby boomer shit fit" key words. Listening to this tantrum, for that's what it was, made me remember times when I've had similar issues, and my response was just to sigh and give up and look into the matter later on my bank account to see where I fucked up. But that woman, she's a baby boomer, they come from an era of plenty, she's probably not used to the pitfalls of being poor yet, hence the tantrum.

The whole time she had her tantrum, I felt no empathy for her at all; all my empathy was for the employees who had to put up with her nonsense. My stomach is still twisted in angry knots over it, only now beginning to relax 20 minutes later.

All in all, it was all I could do to keep from shouting "So DON'T come back! At this point, I'm sure they never want to see you again, you entitled white bitch! Stop taking your frustrations out on them, it's not their fault you've overdrawn your account, or that they can't take your out of state card, or whatever the fuck is going on over there! Take your fucking tantrum away from here to someone who gives a shit about problems with your special snowflake card!"

So a week or so back, I saw on Tumblr a post about H.P. Lovecraft having been a racist, and an unusually vocal one for his time. I may have even reblogged it, I dunno.

I was thinking about that post again today, and remembering how it was calling for a boycott of Lovecraft’s works because of it.

Um… my basic thought to this is what would be the point of that? I mean, it’s not like the guy is still alive and making money off his works. He’s dead! He’s been dead so long that his writings are all in the public domain! And as far as I know of, his estate is not making any money off sales of his books and even if they were, his estate is not promoting or funding racism in any way. Also, from what I read on Wikipedia, he only ever expressed his racist views in essays and letters, and how many people read that kind of shit? It’s his short stories and books that are still being read by everyone, and there’s nothing that says his views ever made it to his stories. So how is his racism even relevant? And what purpose would be served by boycotting him? HE’S DEAD. LONG dead.

If it was someone like Orson Scott Card who is actively and vocally a raging homophobic shit stain on the cum-rag of the planet, someone profiting and using their fame and profit as a soapbox for their bullshit, I could understand it; I will not give that motherfucker any money nor read his shitty books. But how many people knew Lovecraft was racist before reading that Tumblr post? And how many people read his essays? I sure as hell didn’t know until that Tumblr post.

Besides which, if people boycotted every author that ever had an opinion that was offensive, there would be fuck all left to read. Me, I hate extremist Christians, but if I boycotted all Christian authors, I’d have very little to read. I also hate extremist atheists, too, like Richard “Dickhead” Dawkins, but I’d be stupid to boycott all atheist authors. And I am opposed to the Sex Offender Registry because it does more harm than good and because why should we have an SRO if we don’t have a registry for murderers? I mean, murder is a far worse crime than rape! Rape you can survive, murder - by definition - you cannot. But should I boycott everyone who disagrees with me? Of course not.

But yeah, some may shout about false equivalence there, but seriously, all those things I mentioned above are actively hurting people just as much as racism is: the SRO is filled mostly with people who have done nothing more harmful than drunken pissing in bushes, and often far less. Extremism of all forms alienates a lot of people and actively hurts others when the extremists start acting (often violently) on their extremist views. So yeah, I don’t think it’s a mistake to say those things go in the same kind of “harmful” category as racism.

Oh, and like I said, if it was someone alive and actively using their fame to spread their fucked-up ideas (like Orson Scott Card, Dick Dawkins, or John Boehner), I would understand it. I would also understand boycotting someone whose fame was caused by their racism (like Adolf Hitler), and/or whose writing were nothing but racist/homophobic/sexist garbage (also like Hitler). Or if someone is famous for something that they actually sucked big-time at, like how Carl Sagan is this famous scientist but he kept stepping out of his particular scientific speciality like he was Mr. Omniscient Science Man but in reality got most of his so-called “facts” terribly, horribly wrong, and was a fucking extremist skeptic to boot, then yeah, boycotting is good.

But someone long dead whose only racist comments are in obscure essays and letters? Someone whose racism does not seem to have informed his fiction writing, or at least not marred the beauty of his works? My basic comment to that is this: if you’re going to stroke your rage boner over something so ancient and irrelevant, please do it in private.

I was out and about a few days ago, and I watched this guy waste 5 minutes using a leaf blower on a mess that would have taken him 2 minutes or less to do if he'd used a broom instead.

Yes, you could fill a whole dictionary full of the things that piss me off. But leaf blowers are one of those. Who invented this pointless waste of electricity? What was so difficult about a broom that they felt they had to invent the leaf blower? And if you've ever seen someone use one, you quickly realize it's the least efficient tool ever not only in terms of electricity use, but also in terms of personal energy output. He worked at least twice as hard wasting his time with the leaf blower than he would have with a broom.

There is literally no use for a leaf blower that would not be better done with a broom. Think about it; you can't even use the leaf blower when the leaves are wet!

The person this poem is aimed at will likely never see it. It is not aimed at anyone currently in my life in any way, even though they are still alive. You may guess who it is all you like, but whoever you guess, you're probably wrong.

“Venom”
By = Alexander Antonin

Oh you're so hurt, poor little babe,
In so much turmoil, emotional pain!
You weep in pain and scream in rage,
Or so says the FUCKING phage!

You came in uninvited, a fucking mistake,
One that somebody should have fucking ERASED!
You ruined our lives, you soulless damned maggot,
Then had the audacity to call me a faggot!

Our home was once so peaceful and calm,
And then you, fucking filth, came on along!
So innocent-looking, you came into our life,
And began, shortly after, to fill it with strife!

Before you came, my life wasn't great,
All day long I received abuse and hate.
But then I'd go home to be safe and at peace,
At least until you showed up, you worthless beast!

Every day was a war, bombs falling left and right,
And once you came along, no sanctuary in sight!
I fought you, I did, since no one else would,
And now I wish I'd got you good!

We locked horns and battled for years,
Then when it looked like I'd win, you broke out in tears;
Played the victim, and I got the boot,
Gods how I wish I'd stabbed your damned foot!

You kept playing it up, fucking liar from Hell,
Got out the razors, did “emo” so well!
Blamed me for everything, when I'd only fought to survive,
Gods how I wish you were no longer alive!

You went 'cross the street, not down the lane,
Here, let me help you try it again!
Your lame-ass suicide attempt was faker than fake,
I hope you go drown in a fucking lake!

Now you have the balls to say you hate me?
The feeling it mutual, I fucking assure thee.
Manipulative, worthless, puddle of radioactive slime,
I wouldn't save your life even to save mine!

You're a waste of resources, and - let me be crass,
You're a festering sore on humanity's ass!
I don't care how wonderful others say you've been,
If you were on fire, I'd add gasoline!

I wish the venom for you that I feel
Could be a physical thing so fucking real,
So I could spit it in your eyes and watch them boil,
To thank you for a life of rage and turmoil!

So fuck you very much, you tower of ire,
I hope you die screaming in a horrible fire!
It's too bad Hell's on earth, you festering puddle of spew,
Because burning for eternity would be TOO GOOD FOR YOU!

I am, of course, a Satanist. As a Satanist, I like music of all kinds. As long as it's interesting, I'll like it. Rock, rap, metal, blues, whatever... I'm not terribly picky. My favorite genre is goth rock.

I get very annoyed by all these horrible bands, things like death metal, being associated with Satanism. First of all, I doubt any of these so-called Satanist bands even know what Satanism really is, let alone actually being Satanists. Secondly, all this death metal shit (and a lot of other metal genres) is just discordant crap. It's noise, completely devoid of rhythm or melody or anything that makes it worth listening to; a lot of it is just people screaming or growling into a microphone. I'd rather listen to the sound of machines crashing into one another endlessly than most of that shit.

Satanic music, indeed. The only real Satanist I know of in the music business is Marilyn Manson, and the only album of his that I like is Antichrist Superstar.

Ayn Rand's mind was made of the stuff too foul to make Adolf Hitler's bloody diarrhea out of. I'd piss on her grave, but that would be a waste of perfectly good urine. I'd shit on her grave, but that would just befoul the turd.

Seriously, this Randian crap is the same ground human-fetus burger that the Republicunts and Pea Tardiers spew, and it's the kind of attitude that is the cause of America going down the fucking shitter. If Ayn Rand were alive today, it'd be well worth the prison time to drop a 100 pound sack of fresh wet manure on her head.

Hunting with a gun ought to be illegal. Everyone knows nobody hunts for food in the Western world anymore, so anyone who hunts is just doing it because they love killing things. And they have the balls to call it a sport. Well, in that vein, let's make the only form of legal hunting be with your bare hands and/or with a bowie knife. If you can't catch and kill it without using something more than a bowie knife, then it isn't sporting enough. If the animal doesn't have an equal chance of killing you as you do of killing it, then it shouldn't be legal to hunt it.

Fuck anyone who disagrees.

If nothing else, it should be illegal for anyone under 18 to handle a gun for any reason. Goddamn high-powered murder machines, good for nothing but murder.

Getting really tired of reading about this "rise of LGBT individuals bullying straight people" bullshit. Fucking lies and propaganda. And the supposedly LGBT-positive web sites are repeating the same bullshit.

The people who ride their damned bicycles on the sidewalks instead of the roads like they're supposed to, especially when they have bike lanes and especially when the sidewalks are narrow and have blind spots caused by vegetation, make me want to shove a good, heavy stick into their spokes as they go by, and watch them tumble. Then, when they start yollering at me, I'd say "Serves you right for riding your bike on the sidewalk when it's illegal, fuckface. If you get to risk running me over on your bike, then I get to shove a stick in your spokes when you fail to run me down."

Not that I would, even with my very own body where I have complete say all the time over what it does. But it's damn tempting. I haven't been run over by a wayward bicyclist yet, but I've had several near misses.