⛧ First Church of Hypocrisy, Blasphemy, and Self-Righteousness ⛧

If I were in control of my worst enemy's body for 48 hours with no killing or harming him physically, I would withdraw all the money from his bank in cash, hide it somewhere only I know about, abandon his car in a no parking zone 20 feet from a police station, download a shit-ton of child pornography onto his laptop, then in the last 10 minutes I'd open his computer in front of a different police station and begin watching the child pornography right in front of the cops while whipping his dick out right there in public. That way even if he ever gets out of prison for child pornography possession and public indecency, his car will be repossessed, he'd be bankrupt, and he'd probably end up homeless given all the restrictions on where registered sex offenders are allowed to live.

1) Do you want to get married?

No. Marriage never made any sense to me, such that for a while I was against same-sex marriage as well as opposite-sex marriage. Then I realized it wasn't about me, it was about others having equal rights.

Anyway, marriage is a pointless institution, hopelessly outdated, and was pretty shitty to start with. On top of that, it's utterly ridiculous to think you're going to love someone forever, unless they're your child, parent, or sibling, and that's not really relevant here. What's relevant is that people change. The only constant is change, after all. And pretending for even a minute that marriage is anything other than a pointless waste of time that will inevitably end in divorce or worse is just the height of delusional.

2) Where would you like to get married?

Nowhere, realistically. But if it were to happen for some reason (madness, personality transplant, dementia, becoming a citizen of another country or helping someone become a citizen of this country, or some other sort of necessary fraud), I'd probably go with some woodsy place, it would be a pagan handfasting.

3) If you were getting married in a week, who would be in your wedding party?

In the vanishingly unlikely event of my impending marriage, assuming I did not come to my senses before then, I suppose my friends Brooke, Amy, Lily, Jesse, and some of my pagan meetup friends would get invites.

4) What would your wedding colours be?

Again prefacing this with "in the unlikely event of my marriage," I'd go with green and silver; Slytherin colors. It would be a Slytherin-themed wedding, if I had a choice in it.

5) Does marriage mean to you 'til death do us part?'

Pretty much answered this already, but no. It means 'til death or annullment or divorce do us part.'

On a side note, I've just decided that any "marriage" I got that was happening for some reason that didn't require the full legal marriage, would likely just be an informal thing, not involving the government at all, and vows would reflect this fact by essentially saying "yeah this isn't really a marriage, it's something superficially similar, and could end at any time."

A. If you could get away with one murder in your lifetime without any legal, social, or emotional repercussions, would you kill someone?

Only if I really thought they deserved death.

B. What is your first thought when you receive a message on Tumblr, are you excited for the idea of someone from potentially the other side of the world wanting to talk to you or fearful that someone will criticize you?

My first thought is "What bullshit am I going to have to put up with NOW?"

C. Have you ever looked down on someone because you thought your religious views were superior?

It's hard not to, when so many religious people worship stupidity.

D. Would you rather know everything the universe has to offer but in exchange lose all emotions or remain the way you are now?

The latter.

( under a cut )

Whoreofabaddon Asked me, in response to a meme I posted: "W or U if you were already asked."

“W: Favourite superhero.”

That’s a tough one. Probably Wolverine from X-Men, since he reminds me so much of myself. Plus, those claws are so cool. But I’m also a huge fan of Buffy Summers, from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” Cuz here’s this traditionally feminine teenage girl with superpowers who kills vampires and demons and other evil beasties, but unlike most superheroes, she’s willing and able to accept help from her friends, and this makes her BETTER at her job. It’s especially cool when she finds out that the slayers were made by men for their own chauvanistic reasons and turns it against them by rebelling against the Watcher Council and forming her own group, and then activating all the slayers in the world, turning this tool of the “patriarchy” into this huge girl-power force that makes the alpha males tremble in fear. Cuz hey, I may be a guy, but I am an anarchist and a socialist, and the forces of the patriarchy are the same that keep the rich and powerful alpha males in power and keep any real change from being possible. Freedom for women means freedom for everyone from the evil alpha males.

“U: Favourite female character from a TV show.”

Well feck, I guess I answered that one already, above. :-)

Found on Facebook, adapted for the LJ/DW format:

90% of Livejournal users won't repost this. They are too afraid to stand up for the truth in today's secular world. But when Odin sent Thor to slay the frost giants, he was thinking of you. If you believe that He loves Yggsdrasil with all His heart, and will fight to defend it and us at Ragnarök, please share this. If you know in your heart you'll be with Him in Valhalla, share this. Those who brave the ridicule of this secular world will truly be rewarded with mead and wild boar in the sacred halls of Valhalla! Skál!

Or, my own version:

90% of Livejournal users won't repost this. They are too afraid to stand up for the truth in today's secular world. But when Lucifer had Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit and defy the false Creator Yahweh, he was thinking of you. If you believe that He loves humans with all His infernal heart, and will fight to defend us from ignorance and an insane tyrannical "God," please share this. If you know in your heart He will be with you always, for He is the Lord of the Earth, share this. Those who brave the ridicule of this secular world will truly be rewarded with earthly delights, knowledge, wisdom, and freedom on Earth and in the afterlife (if there is one)! Avé Satanas! Avé Luciferi!

Not perfect, but amusing anyway.

Glommed from fayanora

Finish the Sentence. ^_^

I love... masturbating.
Right now I want... 5 million dollars. But realistically, I'll settle for a Network-Attached Storage unit.
I feel like... a bipedal hominid.
I hate it when... idiots get elected to public office.
I fear... death.
I'm lonely without... kindred spirits.
I need... more money.
Today I... mostly dicked around on the computer.
Tomorrow I'm... going to do some writing.
I just... took in oxygen.
I want to meet... Freema Agyeman.
I'm hungry for... Freema Agyeman.
I love it when... things go well.
I'm afraid of... Republicans.
I'm listening to... Night Court.
I'm wearing... clothing.
I wish I was in... a swimming pool full of $100 bills.
I want to get... in bed with Freema Agyeman.
I can't... (see above)
I'm nervous to... [no idea]
My Mom thinks I'm... complex.
My Dad thinks I'm... crazy.
I'm happy when... I'm happy.
I'm sad when... I'm sad.
I'm disappointed that... humanity sucks so much.
I wish I looked like...

We need a meme wherein we get voted "Most likely to..." or "Least likely to..." with really unusual things. Like me, I'd be voted "Least likely to be a spokesman for the American education system." Because I can see it now: "Stay in school, kids! But remember that your teachers are lying to you. 90% of education is propaganda designed to turn you into a loyal, unquestioning sheep-person. They didn't need to drop the bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, because Japan was going to surrender anyway! Read the book "Lies My Teacher Told Me"!" *gets dragged away by the men in white coats.*

"The rules are that for (at least) 8 days you have to post something that made you happy that day."

Well, because of the holidays, not much happened today. However, I was made very happy by finding out that iTunes will burn audio disks for me.

"The rules are that for (at least) 8 days you have to post something that made you happy that day."

Well that will be easy. I got my laptop! Though I still don't have a power adapter for it, so I haven't been able to turn it on. Got some incense and candles from mom, too, and a $50 cashier's check from them, and a Subway gift card! :-D

I TAG YOU ALL! So I don't have to suffer alone. Ha!

Okay, so I'm not completely annoyed by this meme. Think of the episode of the comic strip Zits when Jeremy was all like "Oh should I turn my frown upside down and smile and be cheerful all the time?" and then in the last panel he was all like "Darn, I actually feel better now." XD