I demand to talk to the manager of Life.

I hate my body. Got a headache, while my stomach has been uncomfortable for reasons I can't pin down. It's better now than it was before, but I don't know why. Sure, I ate something, but just a couple pickles and some diet Dr. Shasta. When I ate a mini pizza earlier, that made it worse.

And while I'd normally be sleeping off my headache, I can't because I tried that and my teeth kept clacking together sharply no matter what I tried to do to stop it. At one point it happened so hard I was briefly convinced I'd chipped a tooth.

I really truly hate this piece of shit body, and I want to get it exchanged for one that actually works well.