Snow AGAIN

*Looks out window, sees assloads of snow overwhelming the wet ground. Snow. In Portland, Oregon. Again.* *Snaps*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL NOT HAVE THIS UNNATURALNESS IN MY CITY! I. WILL. NOT. HAVE. THIS. EFFING. SNOW!!!

JACK FROST, YOU'D BETTER PRAY TO YOUR GOD NOW, BECAUSE I AM COMING TO KILL YOU! I AM GOING TO BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH YOUR OWN SKULL! I AM GOING TO TIE YOUR ESOPHAGUS TO YOUR LOWER INTESTINE AND SEW YOUR MOUTH TO GEORGE W. BUSH'S ASSHOLE!

*Goes tear-assing through Tokyo on a rampage*

Writer's Block: Starting Out Fresh

[Error: unknown template qotd]Oh for crying out loud! Fuck you, fuck the horse you rode in on, fuck the guy who made the saddle, fuck the person who made the saddle-blanket, and fuck the little girl who fed the horse apples!
(And by "fuck," I mean the olde englishe definition "to hit; to cause physical injury to."

"Sets the tone for the rest of the year" my ass! Human systems of measuring time are entirely arbitrary! You could just as easily divide time into different, and just as meaningless and arbitrary sections; you could count backwards from a point ten thousand years in the future, for all that matters. The Wiccan new year is October 31st, the Chinese new year is in, what, April? Fuck if I know. In the Discordian calendar, this year is 3175 YOLD.

And hey, I've just made a new calendar system starting on July 1st, 1982! Pulled it right out of my ass. Here it is:

Seven days a week (for simplicity):
1. Satan
2. Lucifer
3. Belial
4. Set
5. Typhon
6. Baal
7. Malek Taus

12 months in a year:

1. Anton LaVey
2. Uncle Setnakt
3. Marilyn Manson
4. Alastair Crowley
5. Michael Aquino
6. Blanche Barton
7. Alexander Antonin
8. Christopher S. Hyatt
9. Ayn Rand
10. Peter H. Gilmore
11. Michael Ford
12. Frederick Nietzsche

By that system (the AlexAntonin system), today is Malek Taus, Anton LaVey 2, 26 AAA (Anno Alexander Antonin). Tomorrow will be Satan, Anton LaVey 3, 26 AAA.

Can you tell I'm especially pissy today?