I hate these questions

My friend Alexandra is a psychic and a witch. Here's an example of the kind of questions I hate seeing:

Dear Alexandra,

I need your help. could you please give me a spell or a pray with me to get this man of my dreams to fall in love with me, like I have with him. Please help me. Thank you very much

Need Him to Love Me in Thurman, OH

Alexandra's answer.

MY answer would have been:

Dear Need Him,

Get a fucking life already. Magic does not solve all problems. Have you tried talking to him? Seriously, go for the non-magical solutions first. And if you try that and he doesn't reciprocate, GET THE FUCK OVER HIM and try someone else. Trust me, if you use magic on him, you will end up with a crazed stalker you can't get rid of. Which would serve you right, idiot.

Sincerely,
---Alexander Antonin / Bishop Sanctimonius the Hypocritical

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