Feb. 13th, 2012

alex_antonin: TST Antifascist (Default)
Reading "The Satanic Rituals" by Anton LaVey, the section on the Black Mass got me thinking. It talks of having a priest, a deacon, a subdeacon, a nun, an altar, and an illuminator, and everyone but the nun and the altar wearing black hooded robes. The altar being a nude woman, and a nun being, well, a nun, in the traditional habit and wimple. But see, if the point of the Black Mass is to subvert the Catholic mass, then there's something missing. You've still got men in the usual roles and women in the usual roles. Only the altar, the words, and the clothing of the men are really different from a usual Catholic mass. So I was thinking... to truly subvert the Catholic mass, there need to be a few changes made:

1. All the usual male roles (priest, deacon, etc) should be done by women, in replicas of the proper clothing for their Catholic counterparts (priest garb, deacon garb, etc), but modified with the symbol for brimstone instead of a cross.

2. The altar should be a nude man. I haven't read far enough to find out if there's anything the altar is supposed to receive, but men have anuses, so there's that to consider.

3. The nun should be a very manly man in a traditional nun's outfit. Preferably a man with a beard.

4. Any gendered pronouns in the text of the mass should be reversed to fit the new gender roles.

5. Hell, for that matter, does Satan necessarily have to be male? Seems Satanism generally replaced one male deity with another. Or, if Satan's gender is so assurred, why not do a Satanic Mass to Lilith or other feminine dark power?

6. Maybe even transwomen and transmen instead of men and women?

You know, with #5 in mind, given the fire symbolism of Shao'Kehn and the rather decidedly left-hand path leanings of the Shao'Kehn aspect of our spirituality, [personal profile] fayanora seems to have provided us with a pretty decent dark feminine power to replace Satan in the Satanic Mass, if I could ever get enough people to agree to help me pull one off.

~ ~ ~

On a side note, I feel like a bit of an idiot. Right there on page 45 of this book is a perfectly good extant Satanic version of the Our Father:

Celebrant (priest):

Our Father which art in Hell, hallowed be Thy name.
      Thy kingdom is come, Thy will is done; on earth as it is in Hell!
      We take this night our rightful due, and trespass not on paths of pain.
Lead us into temptation, and deliver us from false piety, for
Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever!

Deacon and subdeacon:

And let reason rule the earth.
alex_antonin: TST Antifascist (Default)


For the blind: Sinfest comic. Lil E and Clementine the devil girl praying. Clementine says, "Thank you, Jay-Z, for these froot loops. Jehovah guide me. Be my guidance. Lord knows I got a lotta haters. But I dust em off, I dust em off. Hail Mary, we'll bury any one of you mother fuckers. Hear me, I am the roc. Holla." Munch munch crunch crunch crunch.

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alex_antonin: TST Antifascist (Default)
Bishop Sanctimonious the Hypocritical

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