Faulty logic

On Tumblr, there was a post that said the following:

Original post: How could you be against free college. Like if I think about student loans for more than a few minutes I think about jumping off a cliff have some pity damn

Some jackass: Because hundreds of thousands of people have already paid for their tuition. Should they be reimbursed? It’s not fair to the people who have already paid/ are paying for college.

My comment: Well oh boy maybe I'll start killing people's pets and skinning them to make into fur coats. When people tell me to stop for the sake of the animals I haven't killed, I'll be like "I can't stop killing pets and making them into fur coats, it's not fair to the animals I've already killed and made into fur coats."

Miracle Whip

I don't understand why people like Miracle Whip and off-brand pretenders of such. It looks like mayonnaise, is falsely called "salad dressing" when it bears no resemblance whatsoever to actual salad dressing, and it tastes like someone mixed three cups of sugar into a pint of spit-up baby formula.

Hell

If Hell in the traditional sense actually existed, I think my Hell would be me being forced to work retail for all eternity with unhelpful and incompetent coworkers, all the worst customers, and an overbearing boss. Lunch breaks would be 30 minutes and consist of being forced to drink kombucha and eat Miracle Whip out of a jar with a spoon while Fox News is playing loudly on the TV and the scent of Baby's Breath is fouling up the breakroom from an open window that can't be closed or blocked off.

I'd only be allowed a single restroom break once every 12 hours, and then I'd have to be forced to use the men's room and sit on a toilet with no privacy stalls while a bunch of transphobes make nasty comments and take pictures I can't block, which will later be printed up and posted to the bulletin board for all to see.

In other words, not too much different than a dream I have every other week.