Free TP

Fun idea: take a second-hand thrift-store paperback Bible (if such a thing exists), write on it "free toilet paper," tear out a bunch of pages to make it look used, and leave it in a public bathroom.

That idea inspired by my years-long dream of one day having enough money to go around to scores/hundreds of hotels and motels to steal those Gideon Bibles from them to grind them into paper pulp and make them into Bible Toilet Paper. Probably have printed on it both "Bible Toilet Paper: Made from 100% recycled bibles!" and the following quote from Principia Discordia: "Wipe thine ass with what is written and grin like a ninny at what is spoken."

Bottled water is stupid

Bottled water has got to be the single stupidest successful product ever invented. Water literally falls from the sky for free. It comes out of the tap for free, too. Why pay for it? You're just paying for tap water in a plastic bottle. None of these bottled water brands are actually spring water or taken from a pristine stream in the Rocky Mountains; they're all just bottled tap water. Not even filtered tap water! Just plain old tap water!

Even LaCroix, which was made by homeopathy buffs and tastes like TV static that once saw a fruit in a past life and carries the vague memory of that sight in its half-remembered dreams, is a better product than bottled water because at least LaCroix has carbonation and the ghost of a shadow of the idea of flavor in it!