Harry Potter is a better man than I am.
Nov. 7th, 2012 04:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alex_antoninRe-reading Harry Potter for the umpteen thousandth time. I'm beginning the second book again, at the scene where he escapes the Dursleys. I have to say, the Dursleys may have taken him in for their own inscrutible reasons, but Harry is a lot better to them than I'd have been under the same circumstances. After all they put him through, he helped protect them in the last book. They abused him, neglected him, should have had him taken away a thousands times over by child protective services, and he helped protect them in the end.
Now, as to me, I hold grudges. I never forgive unless I can tell someone is truly repetant. I can see how it would be had I been in Harry's position:
Order members: "Blah blah blah protect the Dursleys."
Me: "Why?"
Order member: "Pardon?"
Me: "You said 'Protect the Dursleys.' I said 'Why?' As in 'why bother?' They won't know anything that could help the Death Eaters find me."
Order member: "But... they're your family."
Me: "They're my blood relatives, yes, but I don't think of them as my family. They abused me, neglected me, treated me worse than some people treat their dogs. If the muggle authorities had known what was going on, I would have been taken away for my own safety. They don't give a shit about me, and the feeling is mutual. I don't love them; I hate them. With a fiery passion. *Let* Voldemort take them. Let him kill them. The world will be a much better place without them. My only regret would be not being able to watch it happen."
But then, this is why Harry's the hero, and not I.
To be honest, I don't know how realistic it is that Harry turned out as good as he did. I didn't have even half the kind of life Harry did, from the bullying I put up with growing up, and I ended up really fucked up and so angry and vengeful that I still fantasize about watching my bullies being burned alive and dying in screaming agony while I laugh til my sides ache at the hilarity of their tortured screams, and then dancing merrily on their graves, laughing and singing gaily. Or if they were already dead, I'd shit on their grave and knock over their gravestone. I am a vengeful person. If I ever met one of my old bullies, I'd kick him in the nuts and then beat the crap out of him with a piece of rebar. Then castrate him with the rebar for good measure. The jail time for assault would be well worth it.
Now, as to me, I hold grudges. I never forgive unless I can tell someone is truly repetant. I can see how it would be had I been in Harry's position:
Order members: "Blah blah blah protect the Dursleys."
Me: "Why?"
Order member: "Pardon?"
Me: "You said 'Protect the Dursleys.' I said 'Why?' As in 'why bother?' They won't know anything that could help the Death Eaters find me."
Order member: "But... they're your family."
Me: "They're my blood relatives, yes, but I don't think of them as my family. They abused me, neglected me, treated me worse than some people treat their dogs. If the muggle authorities had known what was going on, I would have been taken away for my own safety. They don't give a shit about me, and the feeling is mutual. I don't love them; I hate them. With a fiery passion. *Let* Voldemort take them. Let him kill them. The world will be a much better place without them. My only regret would be not being able to watch it happen."
But then, this is why Harry's the hero, and not I.
To be honest, I don't know how realistic it is that Harry turned out as good as he did. I didn't have even half the kind of life Harry did, from the bullying I put up with growing up, and I ended up really fucked up and so angry and vengeful that I still fantasize about watching my bullies being burned alive and dying in screaming agony while I laugh til my sides ache at the hilarity of their tortured screams, and then dancing merrily on their graves, laughing and singing gaily. Or if they were already dead, I'd shit on their grave and knock over their gravestone. I am a vengeful person. If I ever met one of my old bullies, I'd kick him in the nuts and then beat the crap out of him with a piece of rebar. Then castrate him with the rebar for good measure. The jail time for assault would be well worth it.