A bit of an explanation.
Oct. 8th, 2013 12:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alex_antoninBasically, if I know you and like you and care about you, and you show me something that contradicts something I've said, I am more likely to believe you and let you win the argument and actually change my beliefs about said thing. Not a guarantee, but the odds are higher. At the very least, I will be more likely to say, "Hey, let's agree to disagree." If you are a very close friend, you can disagree with me on massively humongous things and get a pass from me. Though there are limits to this; I do not befriend anyone who consistently shows a total lack of compassion or understanding for other people based on anything less important than the content of their character. But if we disagree on something that ultimately doesn't matter, or does matter but they're polite about it, then it's not an issue. You could believe the earth is a giant rubber ball that will deflate some day, and if I befriended you before I found out about it, I may think you're insane but I'll ignore that topic. (If, however, it is literally the only thing I know about you, I will mock you without mercy.)
But if I don't know you and/or don't care one iota about your opinion, I automatically distrust anything you say and the odds of you changing my mind about anything become about as high as the odds of winning the jackpot in the lottery. Because 1. I've been lied to so much by so many people that I only trust people who I've befriended, because they've been deemed trustworthy. 2. Anybody can claim to be anything or anyone on the Internet. 3. I never take anyone's word on anything without reviewing the facts and making my own decisions.
I don't let differences of belief get in the way of friendship with someone as long as they are polite, nice to me, and show compassion and understanding towards people who have done nothing to prove themselves unworthy. But the instant someone proves themselves to be transphobic, homophobic, sexist, biphobic, fat-shaming, slut-shaming, racist and unwilling to fix it, shits on the poor, hates on homeless people, or any of a number of irrational, anti-compassionate thoughts or behavior towards any group of people (other than something like "extremist Christians" or "militant vegans" or any other kind of people who go out of their way to be obnoxious), I will de-friend them in an instant. I have only had to do this twice, as far as I recall: once because some guy was fat-shaming people, and another time because the person was being the most obnoxious kind of atheist in the world.
That all said, no matter how much I may insult you or demean you in an argument, all you have to do to stop it is to say "Hey, this is silly, we're getting ourselves all worked up over something silly. Let's agree to disagree, eh?" But if you continue to argue for your side, I will continue to argue with you in return.
I'm quick to say "let's agree to disagree" with friends, but it almost never happens when arguing with someone I don't give a shit about. So the other person usually has to be the one to say it. Unless I just get so tired of the crap that I stop it myself for my own sanity.
Now, not wanting to be a complete asshole, I've been getting better over the years at stopping arguments from getting out of hand. But something to understand about me: EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD pisses me off. I am constantly pissed off at Republicans and other politicians, at capitalism, at being poor, at racism, sexism, biphobia, etc. etc., and at all kinds of other stuff I can't do anything about. And occasionally, it is cathartic to lash out at random strangers online over stupid shit that doesn't matter. I don't actively seek these kinds of fights anymore, but when something pops up, I just find it hard to resist.
But if I don't know you and/or don't care one iota about your opinion, I automatically distrust anything you say and the odds of you changing my mind about anything become about as high as the odds of winning the jackpot in the lottery. Because 1. I've been lied to so much by so many people that I only trust people who I've befriended, because they've been deemed trustworthy. 2. Anybody can claim to be anything or anyone on the Internet. 3. I never take anyone's word on anything without reviewing the facts and making my own decisions.
I don't let differences of belief get in the way of friendship with someone as long as they are polite, nice to me, and show compassion and understanding towards people who have done nothing to prove themselves unworthy. But the instant someone proves themselves to be transphobic, homophobic, sexist, biphobic, fat-shaming, slut-shaming, racist and unwilling to fix it, shits on the poor, hates on homeless people, or any of a number of irrational, anti-compassionate thoughts or behavior towards any group of people (other than something like "extremist Christians" or "militant vegans" or any other kind of people who go out of their way to be obnoxious), I will de-friend them in an instant. I have only had to do this twice, as far as I recall: once because some guy was fat-shaming people, and another time because the person was being the most obnoxious kind of atheist in the world.
That all said, no matter how much I may insult you or demean you in an argument, all you have to do to stop it is to say "Hey, this is silly, we're getting ourselves all worked up over something silly. Let's agree to disagree, eh?" But if you continue to argue for your side, I will continue to argue with you in return.
I'm quick to say "let's agree to disagree" with friends, but it almost never happens when arguing with someone I don't give a shit about. So the other person usually has to be the one to say it. Unless I just get so tired of the crap that I stop it myself for my own sanity.
Now, not wanting to be a complete asshole, I've been getting better over the years at stopping arguments from getting out of hand. But something to understand about me: EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD pisses me off. I am constantly pissed off at Republicans and other politicians, at capitalism, at being poor, at racism, sexism, biphobia, etc. etc., and at all kinds of other stuff I can't do anything about. And occasionally, it is cathartic to lash out at random strangers online over stupid shit that doesn't matter. I don't actively seek these kinds of fights anymore, but when something pops up, I just find it hard to resist.