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Okay, so. Remember "The Wizard of Oz"? Seen that movie? Of course you have. Now I want you to remember that the titular Wizard (of Oz) sent a young girl, a talking scarecrow, a talking tin man, and a cowardly talking lion to go kill the wicked witch of the west and bring back a trophy. That's messed up, right? Of course it is. And they do it, and it's traumatic AF.

Now that you're thinking about that whole ridiculous situation, I want you to know two things:

First, in the books, Oz was a real place, Dorothy really went there for real in the flesh, it wasn't in any way a dream. So within the context of the story, a real flesh-and-blood adult man sent a real-life young girl and her three friends to murder his dangerous, powerful, evil rival and bring back a trophy. Not a dream, so it's even more messed up than if it had been a dream. Not the nonsense of a dream, but an actual sociopath weaponizing a minor.

Secondly, and this is the most important part: in the book that this happened in, Dorothy was not sixteen. She was SIX. Yes, Dorothy in the first book was a mere SIX years old. An adult man... (inhales) sent a LITERAL CHILD -- a KINDERGARTENER no less... with a straw man, a tin man, and a cowardly lion... to go murder a powerful evil witch... and bring back a trophy. So in addition to being a sociopath, the Wizard is now also the multiverse's biggest coward ever. And in fact... is there a word stronger than "sociopath" to describe the monstrous act of weaponizing a KINDERGARTEN-AGE GIRL against a person who has already attempted to murder said little girl on several occasions in the story... AFTER SHE WENT TO HIM FOR HELP WITH SAID MURDEROUS WITCH. Help that he REFUSED TO GIVE HER.

And yes, he was just an ordinary man and not actually a wizard, making him a liar to boot. And yes, an ordinary human man versus a powerful evil witch is not a fair fight. But the Wizard was still an adult man who wielded power over the people of the Emerald City and possibly much more of Oz. And he was an inventor. He could have used his power to gather an army to storm the witch's castle, or even send the Oz version of Seal Team Six in against her and her forces, but no, instead he sent Seal Team Six-Year-Old.

He could've invented war balloons to attack the witch, in addition to armies. But no, i'M tHe Wizard, i'M gONnA thROW A SIX YeaR olD liTTlE GIRL at an ANCIeNt AND POWErFuL eviL WiTCh AnD hope For The bEsT.

No bloody wonder he was trying to escape in his balloon: he fully expected they'd fail, and the Wicked Witch would announce to the world that the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz responded to a small child's call for help by saying "YOU kill her, little girl; I'm much too busy being the worst human being ever born!" right before murdering half the population of Oz with her fancy new magical shoes.

It's like in Pokemon, that scene where someone summarized it by saying "Ash threw a rat at a god. And won." The Wizard threw a toddler at a powerfully magical war criminal, and won. Only difference is, Ash expected to win and the Wizard didn't. And Dorothy only won because the witch was deathly allergic to water. (Or more realistically some cleaning agent added to the bucket of water.)

Knowing all this, is there anyone in fiction more loathsome and detestable than the Wizard of Oz?
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alex_antonin: TST Antifascist (Default)
Bishop Sanctimonious the Hypocritical

May 2025

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