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Dear America
Nov. 5th, 2008 09:41 pmDear America,
Congratulations, America! You officially suck ebola-infected human feces! Yes, you elected the first ever black President, but you banned gay marriage! One step forward, five steps back. Why not just go all the way, be honest about your feelings? It would be a great use of that illegal immigrant labor to build concentration camps for all the gays and lesbians.
All you people who voted in favor of banning gay marriage are officially dead to me, and you're all going to Hell. God hates the haters! And so does Satan. When you die, you are going to end up in Hell. Satan will say, "I see here you voted in favor of banning gay marriage. Well now, I am going to enjoy sodomizing you for the rest of eternity with my chainsaw dildos." Go ahead, cry for your God. He hears you, and laughs at your misery. Your pain delights Him.
People who voted to ban gay marriage, you'd better either stay away from me or keep that secret to yourself, because if any of you shitbags comes near me, I swear I will beat you half to death with an aluminum baseball bat. (Okay, maybe not beat you half to death, but I will kick you either in your balls or in your teeth, whichever you have.)
People who voted to ban gay marriage, you of all people should understand what it's like to not be able to marry the person you love. After all, incest is illegal. Can't marry your siblings or your parents, aunts, uncles, nor grandparents. So I would have thought you'd want the gays to be able to marry. Oh wait, I understand! It's jealousy. If you can't marry your sister, then the gays can't marry each other. Well that logic, while mean and spiteful, at least makes sense.
I wish words had more power in this culture. I wish there was something I could call you people that was so bad that you'd die from heart attacks when you heard it, or at least faint and go into some kind of seizure. As it is, I will do the following: I will curse you.
Oh great Satan, Lord of the Earth, a pox upon all those who voted to ban gay marriage! May their reproductive organs shrivel and die! May their eyes grow myopic and their intestines twist in painful knots! May it burn like Tobasco Sauce when they piss! And may their teeth fall out if they haven't already! FIE ON THEE, FOUL VERMIN! A POX ON THEE UNTIL SUCH TIME AS YOU SEE YOUR MISTAKES AND BEGIN WORKING TO CORRECT THEM! Ave Satanis!
Sincerely,
Bishop Sanctimonious (Alexander Antonin)
Congratulations, America! You officially suck ebola-infected human feces! Yes, you elected the first ever black President, but you banned gay marriage! One step forward, five steps back. Why not just go all the way, be honest about your feelings? It would be a great use of that illegal immigrant labor to build concentration camps for all the gays and lesbians.
All you people who voted in favor of banning gay marriage are officially dead to me, and you're all going to Hell. God hates the haters! And so does Satan. When you die, you are going to end up in Hell. Satan will say, "I see here you voted in favor of banning gay marriage. Well now, I am going to enjoy sodomizing you for the rest of eternity with my chainsaw dildos." Go ahead, cry for your God. He hears you, and laughs at your misery. Your pain delights Him.
People who voted to ban gay marriage, you'd better either stay away from me or keep that secret to yourself, because if any of you shitbags comes near me, I swear I will beat you half to death with an aluminum baseball bat. (Okay, maybe not beat you half to death, but I will kick you either in your balls or in your teeth, whichever you have.)
People who voted to ban gay marriage, you of all people should understand what it's like to not be able to marry the person you love. After all, incest is illegal. Can't marry your siblings or your parents, aunts, uncles, nor grandparents. So I would have thought you'd want the gays to be able to marry. Oh wait, I understand! It's jealousy. If you can't marry your sister, then the gays can't marry each other. Well that logic, while mean and spiteful, at least makes sense.
I wish words had more power in this culture. I wish there was something I could call you people that was so bad that you'd die from heart attacks when you heard it, or at least faint and go into some kind of seizure. As it is, I will do the following: I will curse you.
Oh great Satan, Lord of the Earth, a pox upon all those who voted to ban gay marriage! May their reproductive organs shrivel and die! May their eyes grow myopic and their intestines twist in painful knots! May it burn like Tobasco Sauce when they piss! And may their teeth fall out if they haven't already! FIE ON THEE, FOUL VERMIN! A POX ON THEE UNTIL SUCH TIME AS YOU SEE YOUR MISTAKES AND BEGIN WORKING TO CORRECT THEM! Ave Satanis!
Sincerely,
Bishop Sanctimonious (Alexander Antonin)
