Romney had no intention of winning.

Just got informed by a friend of mine that Romney is conceding. Yay! Praise Satan!

But then I thought about it... this happened less than two hours after the polls closed, here on the Left Coast. Now I know they have machines that count the votes, but they still have to take the ballots out of the envelopes and run them through the machines. There is no possible way they could have enough votes to know who was going to win already, unless by some miracle it was a landslide victory, which I doubt. It was very odd to me for a moment... and then I realized the only possible explanation.

I'd been basically staring at the Romney campaign since everyone was still trying to figure out who the Republican candidate would be, with what amounts to a perpetual looks of "What the flaming fuck?" Within several months, I finally came to a conclusion: the Republicans weren't actually trying to win.

Now, I had abandoned that lately from the sheer horror that after everything that has happened in this country, half the country seemed to have forgotten it all and looked like they'd be voting for the most horrible Republican I think has ever run for office. Even Bush Junior looked better than Romney. Hell, I think Sarah Palin even looks good compared to Romney.

Anyway, so after forgetting about my theory in the face of imminent idiocracy, with the fact that Romney conceded less than two hours after the polls closed, I once again circle back to where I had been before: ROMNEY HAD NO INTENTION OF WINNING. THE REPUBLICANS HAVE BEEN HAVING TOO MUCH FUN FUCKING WITH OBAMA; they had no intention of winning.

And now, how much you want to bet they go back to their old fun and games of being the political versions of lead anchors tied to Obama's every attempt to get anything done? I'm telling you, within a month or two, it's gonna be another quagmire of Republican foot-dragging again as Obama drags them along kicking and screaming and hitting to get anything done. They will once more undermine everything he does and says, stepping up the racism and the abuse and the insanity because they had so much fucking fun doing it before.

Truly, I am 110% convinced they had absolutely no intention of winning, and went with the biggest yutz they could find as their golden boy. I'll eat my hat if anyone can prove they had any intention of winning this election!

Harry Potter is a better man than I am.

Re-reading Harry Potter for the umpteen thousandth time. I'm beginning the second book again, at the scene where he escapes the Dursleys. I have to say, the Dursleys may have taken him in for their own inscrutible reasons, but Harry is a lot better to them than I'd have been under the same circumstances. After all they put him through, he helped protect them in the last book. They abused him, neglected him, should have had him taken away a thousands times over by child protective services, and he helped protect them in the end.

Now, as to me, I hold grudges. I never forgive unless I can tell someone is truly repetant. I can see how it would be had I been in Harry's position:

Order members: "Blah blah blah protect the Dursleys."
Me: "Why?"
Order member: "Pardon?"
Me: "You said 'Protect the Dursleys.' I said 'Why?' As in 'why bother?' They won't know anything that could help the Death Eaters find me."
Order member: "But... they're your family."
Me: "They're my blood relatives, yes, but I don't think of them as my family. They abused me, neglected me, treated me worse than some people treat their dogs. If the muggle authorities had known what was going on, I would have been taken away for my own safety. They don't give a shit about me, and the feeling is mutual. I don't love them; I hate them. With a fiery passion. *Let* Voldemort take them. Let him kill them. The world will be a much better place without them. My only regret would be not being able to watch it happen."

But then, this is why Harry's the hero, and not I.

To be honest, I don't know how realistic it is that Harry turned out as good as he did. I didn't have even half the kind of life Harry did, from the bullying I put up with growing up, and I ended up really fucked up and so angry and vengeful that I still fantasize about watching my bullies being burned alive and dying in screaming agony while I laugh til my sides ache at the hilarity of their tortured screams, and then dancing merrily on their graves, laughing and singing gaily. Or if they were already dead, I'd shit on their grave and knock over their gravestone. I am a vengeful person. If I ever met one of my old bullies, I'd kick him in the nuts and then beat the crap out of him with a piece of rebar. Then castrate him with the rebar for good measure. The jail time for assault would be well worth it.

Discordian fun with dissection.

When I was in high school, I claimed it was against my religion to dissect animals, in order to get out of doing it. In reality, it was just against my religion to do something so totally gross. Well, and okay, I was a budding vegetarian at the time. (I'm feeling much better now!)

While watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and seeing frogs being dissected, it occurred to my Discordian nature to wonder what the teacher's reaction would have been if I'd said that dissection was against my religion, but vivisection wasn't. Now mind you, I wouldn't - even now - actually vivisect anything. But the look on the teacher's face would be fun to see.

Or better yet: "It's against my religion to dissect anything that's been in formaldehyde or other preservatives. There are specifics laid down in the Book of Books: the animal must be a freshly-killed specimen, and must be cooked and eaten after the dissection. Very specific prayers must be said during the dissection, during cooking, and during the meal, all to properly honor the spirit of the departed animal."

Good gods, but I wish I'd found Discordianism in high school. Would've made those four years much more fun and tolerable.

Entitlement whore.

There was a lady on the bus today who was very rude to the driver. She started off walking right by the driver without paying or showing any kind of fare or transfer. When the driver got on her case about this, she starts bitching about how she lost her wallet and she's late for work, giving a strong "I'm entitled to ride whether I have the money or not" vibe. After a couple minutes of arguing, she finally grudgingly put some change in the thingy, but it was only $1.40 - far short of the $2.50 minimum regular fare. Bitch Lady tried ignoring the bus driver when she told the woman it wasn't enough fare. Then argued some more. Finally, the bus driver relented and let the stupid, rude bitch stay on.

If I'd been up front by the driver during this, I would have said "Kick her out! Even if what she's said is true, that's no excuse for rudeness." If it had been me driving, I *would* have kicked the stupid bitch out for her attitude. I don't care how bad a day you're having, if you don't have the money for bus fare, you need to be super polite, apologetic, and practically begging the driver to let you ride. Because the driver does not have to let you ride, even if you have fare, if you're being a rude, entitled frakking idjit.