Discordian fun with dissection.
Nov. 7th, 2012 04:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alex_antoninWhen I was in high school, I claimed it was against my religion to dissect animals, in order to get out of doing it. In reality, it was just against my religion to do something so totally gross. Well, and okay, I was a budding vegetarian at the time. (I'm feeling much better now!)
While watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and seeing frogs being dissected, it occurred to my Discordian nature to wonder what the teacher's reaction would have been if I'd said that dissection was against my religion, but vivisection wasn't. Now mind you, I wouldn't - even now - actually vivisect anything. But the look on the teacher's face would be fun to see.
Or better yet: "It's against my religion to dissect anything that's been in formaldehyde or other preservatives. There are specifics laid down in the Book of Books: the animal must be a freshly-killed specimen, and must be cooked and eaten after the dissection. Very specific prayers must be said during the dissection, during cooking, and during the meal, all to properly honor the spirit of the departed animal."
Good gods, but I wish I'd found Discordianism in high school. Would've made those four years much more fun and tolerable.
While watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and seeing frogs being dissected, it occurred to my Discordian nature to wonder what the teacher's reaction would have been if I'd said that dissection was against my religion, but vivisection wasn't. Now mind you, I wouldn't - even now - actually vivisect anything. But the look on the teacher's face would be fun to see.
Or better yet: "It's against my religion to dissect anything that's been in formaldehyde or other preservatives. There are specifics laid down in the Book of Books: the animal must be a freshly-killed specimen, and must be cooked and eaten after the dissection. Very specific prayers must be said during the dissection, during cooking, and during the meal, all to properly honor the spirit of the departed animal."
Good gods, but I wish I'd found Discordianism in high school. Would've made those four years much more fun and tolerable.