One star review

I will never understand what so many people find so fascinating about dogs. They're loud, obnoxious creatures that stink, eat their own and other species' poop, drink out of the toilet, and show affection by slobbering all over people. All of which is 100% horrible all on its own, and then you add in the fact that they're extremely violent and are responsible for the largest number of animal attacks on humans in the world, and I think you'd have to be absolutely, suicidally insane to want one anywhere near you.

EDIT: Actually, now that I think about it, I totally get why most humans like them. Because dogs remind most other people of themselves and their own behavior. Most other humans are disgusting creatures, overly loud, overly social, overly boistrous, with a strong tendency for violence, and also show affection by slobbering on one another. I'm surrounded by savages.

Diogenes would be proud

In the Kingdom of God, the only place to spit is his face.

(Diogenes is my second favorite philosopher after Robert Anton Wilson.)