⛧ First Church of Hypocrisy, Blasphemy, and Self-Righteousness ⛧

I just now realized what I think is the original reason I started being scared of dogs. I'm autistic, I don't like sudden loud noises and never have. Which, a bark is a sudden loud noise. Also, my brain processes barks as being dog shouts, and therefore thinks of a dog's bark as inherently aggressive since human shouts are often aggressive.

I have, over the years, developed a great many other reasons to be scared of dogs (as well as to not like even the ones that don't scare me -- reasons that can best be summed up as "too much like extroverted humans but you can't reason with them, and also they do a lot of disgusting stuff"), but it's interesting to realize the origin of that fear was tiny, autistic child me being terrorized by this sudden, unexpected, aggressive noise from a big animal with sharp teeth; something that became a Core Memory.™

And I came to this realization by finally analyzing why I don't have a problem with wolves, but I do have a problem with dogs: wolves don't bark, at least not much. They're also much more intelligent than dogs, and they're pretty chill as long as you're not threatening them.

With dogs, I constantly have to guess whether their barks are aggressive or not. With wolves, if they're being aggressive it's bloody obvious because they bare their teeth and growl. So yeah... like humans, dogs are a challenge, trying to figure out what they're actually saying. And it seems to me like other people have dogs figured out the same way most other people have other people figured out, and I don't. And given that humans can at least be reasoned with because they at least theoretically understand my language, they're less of a threat than dogs are.

I think I've finally narrowed down why I don't like dogs. Because I like wolves, but not dogs. Except huskies I don't seem to mind. I think what it is, is that humans took the proud and noble wolf and turned it into a mentally deficient inbred mutant bred to be a living tool. And the fact that I get squicked by saliva, and a lot of these inbred freaks also drool, doesn't help them. That, and they're loud (but not even in an interesting way), they eat literal shit, they're unclean, and they're hyperactive. Like furry infants, but somehow even worse. (I don't like infants, either.)

This could explain why I like cats, but I can't stand the weird breeds like the Scottish fold cats, the cats with tiny corgi legs, the hairless cats, and those ugly squashed-face cats. Because cats domesticated themselves, so most of them are pretty much as they were when they began. It's the inbred mutant "breeds" humans make that I can't stand.

Oh, and while we're at it, this could also partially explain why I don't like humans, either. Aside from the fact that humans are just fucking horrible, humanity is fucking inbred as all fuck, too. There was a genetic bottleneck a long damn time ago, reduced our total world population down to 10K. So now we're all inbred as fuck, which explains why there's less genetic diversity in our species than there is in dogs, even. (Fuck, when you get down to it, dogs, wolves, foxes, dingoes, and several other “species” are all the same species, genetically, judging by the fact that they can breed with one another and create viable offspring. And yet humans will insist on calling them different species. Calling a fox a different species from a wolf is like calling black and white people seperate species; it just ain't true.)

Seems to me, from observation, I'd guess that white people (yes, my own "race") are the most inbred of all "races" of humans. Because I can usually tell POC apart from one another, despite having partial face blindness. But about half the white people in the world look like goddamn identical twins. It's even worse in Hollywood; the old celebs, not so much. But the new ones all seem to be clones of the Alpha White Male and the Alpha White Female.

Oh yes, I've known for years that I don't like dogs because they're too much like humans. Wolves, I respect; wolves are cool. Dogs, though... I pity the poor inbred freaks.

An outdoor adventure company recently slaughtered 100 dogs after not seeing the amount of business they expected. Why is that most people are appalled by the actions that this company took, but don't give a second thought to the number of cows, chickens or sheep that are killed every year on farms? Why do most people have different reactions depending on the animal?

Good question. I personally dislike dogs. But I'd love to find out what one tastes like as a steak or a burger.

I'm not just saying this to be shocking, either. I really would. I genuinely don't see what would be wrong with it. Chihuahuas were bred for meat, originally. (Hey, uh, "culture that bred Chihuahuas"? You did it wrong. Chihuahuas are small and scrawny and not worth much, meat-wise.) What's the difference between eating a dog and eating a cow? Only difference I can see is it's easier to feed a cow, because they eat plants. Although I suppose you could feed a dog roadkill and leftover bits of meat and stuff. As long as you don't feed them dog meat; cannibalism causes Mad Cow Disease and related diseases.

Cats, on the other hand... aside from being cute, I can't imagine they'd be worth anything as food. Scrawny, wiry little bastards that they are. No meat on their bones (if they can even be said to have bones. Seriously, the contortions cats can do, I think they're made of dimensionally transcendental materials). A better use for cats would be to hunt mice, have them feed the mice and rats to the dogs. You know, if cats really ARE made of dimensionally transcendental material, one could probably eat them to steal their powers; "you are what you eat" and all that. Or maybe not.

I'm reminded of the video that was going around where these people were eating a cat. I don't know what became of them. But if I were them, and the ASPCA or whatnot tried to charge me with cruelty to animals, I would contest it; I would say that if eating a cat or a dog is cruelty to animals, then eating ANY animal is cruelty to animals. And it's not like cats and dogs are endangered or anything. In fact, in places where cats and dogs are not supposed to be wild, but are, killing them (and/or eating them) would be a good thing, since they're decimating local wildlife. Places like Australia needs to kill off their feral cat population. I'd personally get rid of all feral dogs there, too. Even dingoes. Those bastards were introduced by the aborigines, and helped drive the thylocine extinct. Bastard dingoes, I will never forgive them for that. I wonder what dingoes taste like? Oh, and rabbits are a major pest there, too, and already considered edible.

If I were filthy stinking rich (and the others would let me do it), it would be an interesting experiment to raise dogs for food; treat them well while alive, either have them free-range or take them on frequent walks, slaughter them humanely. Then when the inevitable freak-out over animal cruelty comes, spend money on the legal defense of "WTF, people? I'm not mistreating these animals. They live MUCH better lives, happier lives, before I slaughter them for meat, than commercially-produced cows, chickens, and hogs do. Why don't you go bother the factory farms about animal cruelty? Their conditions are absolutely horrid."

I wonder if Trader Joe's or any of these other similar grocery stores would sell organic, cage-free, free-range canine meat. "Guaranteed to come from happy animals! Humanely slaughtered!" I wonder how well they'd sell. But I know one thing: even the attempt would be a MAJOR controversy.