![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Marriage came up somewhere on FB. My response:
I'm not married. Don't ever intend to get married because I find the whole concept of marriage utterly baffling and unappealing. Unappealing because you get no privacy, you get no time alone to recharge unless your spouse goes on a business trip, you tie your finances in to someone else's -- an absurd notion, I barely trust myself with my finances, let alone someone else -- and either you or they change surnames? No thank you.
Anyway, what are even the rewards? From what I can see, the rewards are just someone to cuddle, and... what else? I don't have any interest in sex, I find most of what constitutes "romance" to be expensive pointless purchases that are so ridiculous that I strongly suspect romance is a concept invented by capitalists to sell more things.
And even if I liked sex, unprotected sex begets the ultimate STD: kids. Mind you, I have no problem with other people's kids, in general. I treat them like I do any other human being, just ones that don't know as much, because I know the secret of adults: there's no such thing as a grown up. Every adult is simply a large child that knows more things and has learned some way to cope with their trauma...
But the crying of children is a PTSD trigger for me, and also it's just plain sensory overload that my autistic brain can't handle, which means meltdowns if I can't get away from the cause in time. And my meltdowns take the form of screaming, yelling, and throwing things. I do know how to prevent myself from hitting other people on the rare occasion I have these, but that's still no environment for a kid.
Even if I didn't have meltdowns or PTSD triggers related to kids, I'm impoverished and depressed. I can barely look after myself, I can barely keep a low-maintenance houseplant alive. I don't even have any pets. Dogs have too much energy and are too loud and too unpredictable (and are disgusting creatures to boot), cats make me anxious they'll eat something bad for them or destroy something I love. Apartment doesn't allow reptiles. If it did, I might get a snake. I like the idea of owning a snake.
Sorry for the ramble. But here's me getting back to the point. That all is why I find marriage unpalatable and utterly unappealing. And it's baffling to me why anyone would ever choose that. I get that there are people who aren't mentally ill, aren't poor, and might even be extroverts. I get that some people like sex and romance. But while I understand that, I also don't get the appeal. Which is like understanding that there are people who like peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches with sardines and Limburger cheese, but still being grossed out at the thought of eating one yourself, and still wondering how and why anyone would ever find that appealing.
~End quote~
In no way was this related to same-sex marriage, but after writing this all out, it still occurred to me that it could be made to relate to marriage equality in general by the addition of some words at the end:
"Which is why I don't get people trying to ban same sex marriage or any other kind of marriage between two or more consenting adults. Because for as unappealing as marriage is to me, I would never try to ban marriage. Just like I would never try to ban peanut butter mayonaise sandwiches with sardines and Limburger. If people get something out of it, and it's not hurting anyone, then who am I -- who are you, who is ANYONE -- to try to take that away from them?
I'm not married. Don't ever intend to get married because I find the whole concept of marriage utterly baffling and unappealing. Unappealing because you get no privacy, you get no time alone to recharge unless your spouse goes on a business trip, you tie your finances in to someone else's -- an absurd notion, I barely trust myself with my finances, let alone someone else -- and either you or they change surnames? No thank you.
Anyway, what are even the rewards? From what I can see, the rewards are just someone to cuddle, and... what else? I don't have any interest in sex, I find most of what constitutes "romance" to be expensive pointless purchases that are so ridiculous that I strongly suspect romance is a concept invented by capitalists to sell more things.
And even if I liked sex, unprotected sex begets the ultimate STD: kids. Mind you, I have no problem with other people's kids, in general. I treat them like I do any other human being, just ones that don't know as much, because I know the secret of adults: there's no such thing as a grown up. Every adult is simply a large child that knows more things and has learned some way to cope with their trauma...
But the crying of children is a PTSD trigger for me, and also it's just plain sensory overload that my autistic brain can't handle, which means meltdowns if I can't get away from the cause in time. And my meltdowns take the form of screaming, yelling, and throwing things. I do know how to prevent myself from hitting other people on the rare occasion I have these, but that's still no environment for a kid.
Even if I didn't have meltdowns or PTSD triggers related to kids, I'm impoverished and depressed. I can barely look after myself, I can barely keep a low-maintenance houseplant alive. I don't even have any pets. Dogs have too much energy and are too loud and too unpredictable (and are disgusting creatures to boot), cats make me anxious they'll eat something bad for them or destroy something I love. Apartment doesn't allow reptiles. If it did, I might get a snake. I like the idea of owning a snake.
Sorry for the ramble. But here's me getting back to the point. That all is why I find marriage unpalatable and utterly unappealing. And it's baffling to me why anyone would ever choose that. I get that there are people who aren't mentally ill, aren't poor, and might even be extroverts. I get that some people like sex and romance. But while I understand that, I also don't get the appeal. Which is like understanding that there are people who like peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches with sardines and Limburger cheese, but still being grossed out at the thought of eating one yourself, and still wondering how and why anyone would ever find that appealing.
~End quote~
In no way was this related to same-sex marriage, but after writing this all out, it still occurred to me that it could be made to relate to marriage equality in general by the addition of some words at the end:
"Which is why I don't get people trying to ban same sex marriage or any other kind of marriage between two or more consenting adults. Because for as unappealing as marriage is to me, I would never try to ban marriage. Just like I would never try to ban peanut butter mayonaise sandwiches with sardines and Limburger. If people get something out of it, and it's not hurting anyone, then who am I -- who are you, who is ANYONE -- to try to take that away from them?