Vegans

[alex_antonin]

You’d think the vegans would eventually catch on to the fact that the only real reason I occasionally say nasty things about them on my Tumblr blog is because I’m trying to block them all, and this is the most efficient way to find them because the idiots can’t resist commenting to do the Internet version of “I know you are but what am I?”

But they never do figure it out, because they have the collective brain power of a stale Cheeto. Not the normally crunchy knobbly Cheetos, even: the puffy ones that turn into goo in your mouth. Vegans are the intellectual equivalent of cheese-flavored air.