⛧ First Church of Hypocrisy, Blasphemy, and Self-Righteousness ⛧

Gah! I hate living with other people. Can't run around the house nude, can't cuss like I want to (I have to censor myself around my roommate to basically the same degree I would around other people's children), can't really eat what I want because half the things I want to eat she's either allergic to or can't stand the smell of, can't really eat when I want to eat because our sleep schedules aren't in sync and there's only one bedroom (she sleeps in the living room), and she not only has PTSD and nightmares but also wakes up super easily and goes into a fight or flight mode when she's woken up by anything but herself or her cell phone alarm (which is basically the most chill music in the history of the universe).

And I'm an introvert, so every minute I'm around her is like socializing, I never really get to recharge; even when she's out while I'm home, I spend most of the time wondering when she's going to get back because she never texts or calls ahead, she just shows up. (I do the same thing, but at least I'm predicatable enough that if you know what day it is, you have a fairly good idea where I'm going and when I'll be back.)

Then she keeps interrupting me when I'm doing stuff, and the worst part is she starts conversations on the assumption I'm listening even when I'm wearing fucking headphones, so she keeps having to repeat herself, and you'd think after doing this for like 5 or 6 years she'd have figured out to stop doing that but NO. Oh and she's extremely annoying, tests my patience on a daily basis. So I often end up leaving the house and being around strangers while I do stuff because it's easier to put up with noisy strangers than a super annoying roommate because at least strangers don't generally bother me when I'm out in public.

There's probably more, but I can't think of it right now.

But she tells hilarious stories and tells them well enough, and with enough physical comedy, that she really should be a stand-up comic, so that kinda almost makes up for everything else.

She also keeps bitching at me for "yelling" when I didn't even fucking raise my voice. Seriously, her fucking definition of "yelling" is completely fucking insane. I'd hate to see her reaction if I actually yelled at her.

What's especially annoying is the complete fucking double standard. I talk a little louder to be heard (or in this last case, gripe at my computer so quietly I'm astonished she even heard me) and she calls it "yelling" and tells me to stop it, but she can fucking literally scream at people at call centers for various things and I'm just supposed to be okay with that. Even if it startles me awake and makes me think she's been murdered.