alex_antonin: TST Antifascist (Default)
The answer to the economic recession is so simple! Just get FDA approval for infant meat. New restaurants will open up to take advantage of this new meat product. Other restaurants will charge customers extra because their establishment is certified "infant-meat free." Abortion clinics can sell aborted fetuses either to science or to the meat industry. Poor women can get knocked up and sell the infant for meat. There will be new infant-meat hot dogs and bologna. And the best part is, any company using infant meat will save money on it because it costs a lot of money to feed, water, and raise cattle. But infants, just 8 or 9 months in the womb and you're done.

Of course, you'll have scandals, like people trying to sell toddlers for meat. But no system is perfect.
alex_antonin: TST Antifascist (Default)
It's a good thing I don't have superpowers, because if I did, I would hunt down people like this guy and twist their heads off.
alex_antonin: TST Antifascist (Default)
*knock, knock*
Me: Coming!
[opens door, sees a man and a boy, both wearing suits and carrying Bibles.]
Me [in my black monk robes, hood up, wearing my inverted pentagram necklace]: *thinks quickly* "Damnit, I hope this is important, I was about the slit the chicken's throat. Make it snappy!"
Jehovah's Witnesses: *back slowly away* "Sorry to have bothered you, sir. We'll be going now."
Me: "What, you sure you don't want to help me? The altar isn't a virgin, I admit, but we work with what we have."
Jehovah's Witnesses: *running away*
Me: *cackling madly*

Hey, it could happen! :-D

I wish I had the addresses of all the local Jehovah's Witnesses, and others who go door-to-door spreading their mental diseases, so I could go door-to-door to their places and ask if they want to hear the good news about Satan!

*knock, knock*
Them: Coming!
[opens door, to see me in the same getup as above]
Me: *puts foot in door* Could I spare 5 minutes of your time to tell you of the glory of Father Satan, ruler of Earth?
Them: BEGONE, MINION OF EVIL!
Me: You should know that in Satanism, sin is sacrament. All you have to do to worship Father Satan is to sin. Prayer is as easy as masturbating!"
Them: *screaming, trying fervently to close the door*

MWAH HA HA HA HA!
alex_antonin: TST Antifascist (Default)
Yesterday I was accosted by someone doing something to try to save the environment, some something requiring asking for signatures or something like that. Which is okay by me, but what bugged me was their delivery: "Do you have a second for the environment?" Ah, the guilt trip. Yes, how I love guilt trips. (That was sarcasm by the way.) Flummoxed, I was speechless and so Fay spoke up with "No," and we walked away. A minute later, though, I was wishing I could redo that, and say instead, "Actually, yes. I'll listen to whatever quaint plan you have to undo centuries of human abuse wherein you attempt to use human action to reverse the effects of human action, if you let me tell you what *I* am doing for the environment. You see, I'm a member of the Human Extermination Project. We're dedicated to removing the vermin that is humanity from existence once and for all. I wonder if you might have any ideas on how to make a permanent, one-time-use-only contraceptive agent that would only affect the reproduction of humans without affecting other life-forms, we've been having some problems with that. We've also been having some similar problems in our project to come up with a human-targeted neuro-toxin that is also environmentally friendly, breaking down into harmless elements. We also can't decide whether waterborne or airborne delivery would be preferable. Anyway, if you're interested why don't we sit down and talk some more?"

Gee, it would be awesome to see how she'd react to THAT. :-D

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alex_antonin: TST Antifascist (Default)
Bishop Sanctimonious the Hypocritical

May 2025

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