⛧ First Church of Hypocrisy, Blasphemy, and Self-Righteousness ⛧

TBH I keep vacillating between wanting to scream and cry for everybody everywhere who ever gets hurt or killed, and just not giving a fuck at all. Like, every black person murdered hurts my heart, but my neighbor died of cancer the other day and I'm just like "That sucks. What's for dinner?" And when my emotions for something cut out like that, very rarely do they change, so I can't figure out if it's emotional burnout or I'm some kind of part-time sociopath or something.

My blog keeps running out of queued posts for days at a stretch because caring so much and being so angry all the time is just so emotionally exhausting I can't do it often. And whenever I try to blog in one of my "meh" moods, I just get so incredibly bored that Tumblr becomes like watching paint dry.

I'm one of those people who's an asshole to damn near everyone because I have hyperempathy out the fucking wazoo, and it's less emotionally and physically exhausting to push people I don't know/like away for the slightest disagreements than it is to feel fully for everyone I meet. This kinda gives me an either/or mentality when it comes to strangers and enemies, in that if I haven't decided to count you as a friend, I'm extremely picky about whether I want you in my life or not. If you're rude to me right off the bat, even if it's a response to me being rude on some post, I will automatically sort you into the "fuck off" category. But I'm infinitely more patient and forgiving with friends; it takes a LOT for me to turn away someone once they're a friend of mine.

You know, I don't think "introvert" is a narrow enough term for me. I feel like I need a narrower term. Because I'm social with people I like, and asocial to antisocial with strangers and people I don't like, depending on various things. Like, "introvert" is a broad term, to me. I feel like "introvert" can run the gamut from real social butterflies who need to recharge for several hours afterward, like a couple people I know, to people like me, who don't want to associate with anyone for any reason outside of certain contexts. Like, for me, unless it's a friend introducing me to a friend of theirs, or meeting someone at a meetup or online, if I don't know you I don't want to know you, and I even resent being asked for the time of day or when the bus is coming, and any attempt by strangers in most contexts to engage me in more conversation than those simple inquiries gets them glared at and me saying "Why are you talking to me? Buzz off."

So I think I'm going to coin a term: greysocial. It makes sense; I'm somewhere on the ace spectrum, though precisely where I can't sort out, so using similar terms makes sense. So yeah, for me, greysocial means "social in certain circumstances, otherwise asocial."

There are two important metaphors I want to talk about. I used to use one term for both of them: "running against a wall." But now I have two terms:
1. "Blocked tunnel"
2. "Door into void"

Let me explain. First, imagine a mountain road going through a tunnel, and you can see the road coming out the tunnel again on the other side from where you are. That part of the metaphor symbolizes traveling through finding an idea, learning about it, and coming at the end to an understanding of it. But now imagine that the tunnel is blocked. Because you can see the road coming out the other side, that means you can see the implications of understanding that reality tunnel. But you can't get through, you have something blocking you from understanding. Some science stuff is that way for me. I understand the importance and some of the things, and understand some of the consequences and implications, even though I don't understand the details. Trying to think of an example... *ponders* Okay, quantum physics. I understand some of the basics, enough to see some implications, but I don't understand the math and stuff of how it all works. Maybe not the best example, but the best I can think of off the top of my head.
I suppose I could still use "against a wall" for certain math concepts where I can't see past the blockage at all, if something is so over my head that someone trying to explain it just sounds like they're speaking gibberish.

"Door into void" is similar to "blocked tunnel." First, imagine everything in the "blocked tunnel" except that the tunnel is NOT blocked. I can walk into the tunnel, thinking I can get out the other end. Then suddenly I find a door, and open it, start stepping in, only to stop in horror as I find it is a door into outer space, like something out of the Twilight Zone. I use this metaphor to represent reality tunnels that are utterly alien to me. But more than that: reality tunnels that terrify me and anger me, like their very existence is so anathema to me that I feel not only bewilderment but also rage, like it has personally offended me.
But even though I feel fear and rage at these things, I still try to understand them because I want to understand other people.

A great example of "door into void" came to me the other day, that can be used to explain the feelings involved. Okay, so Amy was watching this thing about how human perception of color can affect them, and one bit was about how some cultures can't differentiate certain colors from others like we can. Like, a culture where red is considered a shade of brown and so when asked to tell what square is different when there's a red square in a bunch of brown squares, they stare at the testers like they're stupid and are like "Duh, they're all brown!" It's the same idea as how a lot of men in Western culture percieve coral and salmon as pink and can't tell them apart because of it. At least, not until they are given a name for that color.
      Well, I had already heard of all that and understood it; it was a bit of a blocked tunnel to me, because I didn't get all the details, but I understood it a well enough. However... she added something to it, from what she'd seen and heard on this show. This scientist had added that one culture of people couldn't differentiate blue from black. When asked what color the daytime sky was, they said "black." What's more, Homer - writer of the Iliad and Odyessey - never mentions blue when describing the Aegean Sea, even though the Aegean is bright motherfucking blue, a beautiful blue. Which shows that the ancient Greeks didn't recognize blue as its own color either! Homer described the Aegean with things like "wine" instead. (Proof)
      Now, despite the fact that I understood the concept from the brown/red and salmon/coral/pink examples above, the whole "can't see blue as its own color" thing is a Door Into Void for me. Part of me is like "I understand the concept, and the scientist knows what he's talking about, so it must be true." But the rest of me is ANGRY. It's like "FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE! There is NO fucking way anybody could mistake blue for black! Not the really light shades, anyway. Robin's egg blue, pastel blue, those have NOTHING in common with black!" It's not just a reaction, either. It comes from an utter inability to carry the understood concept that far. I can't even BEGIN to see from that point of view, and yet I trust the source and understand the underlying concept, so my logic is fighting my emotions.

So in one sense, given the vehemence of my Door Into Void reactions, I can kind of understand now what Republicans and other bigots must be feeling. They, too, have run into reality tunnels so alien to them that they are filled with terror and rage, and instead of trying to understand those reality tunnels, they just go with their emotions.

That's where I differ from them, though. If I reacted that way to every Door Into Void I came across, without trying to educate myself and try to understand that point of view, I would be a total slave to Door Into Void for every fucking thing, because the reality tunnels that are alien to me could fill a whole set of encyclopedias. Trying to understand those points of view is, in the case of some things, impossible. Even after 30 years of life, I still feel fear and rage at certain things. I have a number of Doors Into Void that I still barely understand and therefore raise my hackles at whenever I come across them.

And I will admit, there are a few that I don't even try to understand because they're so fucking stupid to me. (Those will be marked "Sans deconstruction" in the following list.)

Things that fit the "door into void" metaphor for me, and still elude my understanding:
* Republican "values"
* Racism
* Sexism
* The mindset that allows people to think that fluoride in the water is dangerous. (Sans deconstruction.) This one makes me particularly enraged.
* Anti-vaccine nutbags (Sans deconstruction.) Another one that makes me especially angry.
* Homophobia/biphobia/transphobia
* Fat shaming
* Slut shaming
* People who treat autistic people like shit or worse. (Sans deconstruction.)

There are probably others I've forgotten.

So in short, if I react vehemently to something you say, you've basically stumbled on what is basically a memetic landmine for me.

Now don't confuse any of these metaphors with my anger at zealous vegans, that's just my irritation at the behavior of them and other modeltheists.

Basically, if I know you and like you and care about you, and you show me something that contradicts something I've said, I am more likely to believe you and let you win the argument and actually change my beliefs about said thing. Not a guarantee, but the odds are higher. At the very least, I will be more likely to say, "Hey, let's agree to disagree." If you are a very close friend, you can disagree with me on massively humongous things and get a pass from me. Though there are limits to this; I do not befriend anyone who consistently shows a total lack of compassion or understanding for other people based on anything less important than the content of their character. But if we disagree on something that ultimately doesn't matter, or does matter but they're polite about it, then it's not an issue. You could believe the earth is a giant rubber ball that will deflate some day, and if I befriended you before I found out about it, I may think you're insane but I'll ignore that topic. (If, however, it is literally the only thing I know about you, I will mock you without mercy.)

But if I don't know you and/or don't care one iota about your opinion, I automatically distrust anything you say and the odds of you changing my mind about anything become about as high as the odds of winning the jackpot in the lottery. Because 1. I've been lied to so much by so many people that I only trust people who I've befriended, because they've been deemed trustworthy. 2. Anybody can claim to be anything or anyone on the Internet. 3. I never take anyone's word on anything without reviewing the facts and making my own decisions.

I don't let differences of belief get in the way of friendship with someone as long as they are polite, nice to me, and show compassion and understanding towards people who have done nothing to prove themselves unworthy. But the instant someone proves themselves to be transphobic, homophobic, sexist, biphobic, fat-shaming, slut-shaming, racist and unwilling to fix it, shits on the poor, hates on homeless people, or any of a number of irrational, anti-compassionate thoughts or behavior towards any group of people (other than something like "extremist Christians" or "militant vegans" or any other kind of people who go out of their way to be obnoxious), I will de-friend them in an instant. I have only had to do this twice, as far as I recall: once because some guy was fat-shaming people, and another time because the person was being the most obnoxious kind of atheist in the world.

That all said, no matter how much I may insult you or demean you in an argument, all you have to do to stop it is to say "Hey, this is silly, we're getting ourselves all worked up over something silly. Let's agree to disagree, eh?" But if you continue to argue for your side, I will continue to argue with you in return.

I'm quick to say "let's agree to disagree" with friends, but it almost never happens when arguing with someone I don't give a shit about. So the other person usually has to be the one to say it. Unless I just get so tired of the crap that I stop it myself for my own sanity.

Now, not wanting to be a complete asshole, I've been getting better over the years at stopping arguments from getting out of hand. But something to understand about me: EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD pisses me off. I am constantly pissed off at Republicans and other politicians, at capitalism, at being poor, at racism, sexism, biphobia, etc. etc., and at all kinds of other stuff I can't do anything about. And occasionally, it is cathartic to lash out at random strangers online over stupid shit that doesn't matter. I don't actively seek these kinds of fights anymore, but when something pops up, I just find it hard to resist.

I feel it necessary to make a post about hate and love, and my thoughts and observations on them. This is that post.

There are, in essence, two types of hatred:
* Fear-based hatred
* "Love" based hatred

Fear-based hatred is easy enough to understand. When you hate someone or something with this type of hatred, it is because you fear that person or thing. And you fear it because you don't understand it. And one may also have no desire to understand the thing one fears. This kind of hatred is the kind of hatred that racists, homophobes, and sexists of varying degrees of severity have. But anything or anyone that you fear can be hated via fear-based hatred.

Now explaining "Love" based hatred is a little more involved. This is because there are two types of love:
* Fear-based love
* True Love

It may be odd to hear a Satanist say this, but that famous Bible quote about love is true, insofar as it's describing the truest, purest form of love:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (NIV)

Naturally, because of its purity, hatred cannot ever come from True Love.

However, True Love is extremely rare in humans. Almost nobody has ever actually felt it. We're mortal, and we live in a violent world with violent people in it, and as a result we fear for our lives. We fear for the lives of others. We are awash in fear, and the Right Hand Path religions tend to encourage this fear. Thus, our experiences of love are actually largely Fear-Based Love.

(Something else to keep in mind is that sometimes, people DO feel True Love, at least for a little bit at a time, but then fear creeps back in and taints it. And they often don't recognize the difference; true love and false love become entangled in their minds.)

Fear-based love is a false love, it is fear and neediness in disguise. It demands others love us so we can feel better about ourselves, or causes us to see in others what we cannot consciously see or accept in ourselves, thus again being self-serving. But being based in fear, it is tenuous. The slightest things can destabilize it and thus cause the illusion of positivity to get washed away and replaced by fear; fear of being rejected, fear of being cast aside, fear of being unlovable. And so Fear-Based Love is only mildly to moderately patient; it is kind only as a ruse; it envies, it boasts, it is full of misplaced pride. It is self-seeking, can be rude, and its ease of anger depends on how strong or how tenuous the feelings. And being based in fear, if those fears come true, or the person thinks they've come true, then it can quickly turn to anger, hatred, and venom; it will reveal that it was always jealous, always keeping a record of wrongs. And it may show its true colors in times of difficulty in a relationship; anger is, after all, based on fear. You cannot be angry at anything that doesn't cause you some degree of fear, whether that's fear for yourself, fear for others, or fear for the environment. Go on, I dare you to disprove this point.

A lot of atheists, Satanists, and other critics of the Right Hand Path like pointing out that God as He is portrayed in the Bible is NOT a God of Love, no matter what believers may say. But the thing to keep in mind is, whether God is real or not, whether you believe God is an invention of the human mind or believe that the experience of God is merely filtered through human experience, anyone capable of feeling True Love, of banishing fear from their lives entirely, will recognize that there's a disconnect between some views of God and others. The problem with religions like Christianity is that they fail to recognize the difference between True Love and false love; and by making this mistake, they fail to recognize that the God of their Bible acts out of false love more often than not.

Then again, this is understandable. Most human beings have never had any experience at all with True Love. They don't know what it is, have never felt it, and so they point to Fear-Based Love and call that Love, when it is not.

Another mistake of Christianity and other RHP religions is the failure to recognize fear, anger, and their related emotions as natural and healthy emotions to feel. Yes, one should always strive to achieve True Love, because if everyone knew the differences between true love and false love, and strove always to achieve true love, the world would indeed be a better place.

But this will be hard to achieve because so many people have mistaken notions about what even True Love is. Even you, having read this post, probably have misconceptions about True Love. For instance, one common mistake of Satanists, a mistake LaVey made and others continue to make in his wake, is that True Love is bigger than human sexual and romantic, or familial, love. True Love has more in common with "basic human respect and dignity for others" than with romantic or familial love. But Yeshuah ben Yosef ("Jesus Christ") used the word "love" because they had a lot more limited vocabulary back in the day.

When Satanists say "you can't love everyone," they're kind of right; if your only experience of love is Fear-Based Love, that's correct. Fear-Based Love is small, self-serving, and cowardly. It is thus impossible to love everyone if that's the only love you're capable of.

But if you can have hope for humanity, if you can recognize the wonder that is human consciousness, and if you have the large-scale thinking necessary to recognize that all human life is valuable, and that the smallest hurts all add up to make a large and ugly system of centralized bigotry, violence, and fear, then you come to realize that if everyone treated one another

Now I don't claim to be perfect at this. Or even very good at it. I mentioned above that one can alternate between True Love and Fear-Based Love, and I mentioned it because this applies to me. I get so angry so much of the time BECAUSE I can feel True Love for humanity, BECAUSE I can see the big picture. I alternate between wanting to counteract all the fear and hatred in the world, and contributing to it when fear creeps back into my thinking. Fear for the earth, fear for the viability of the human species, fear that we'll wipe ourselves out of existence; fear that this precious jewel, consciousness, will be extinguished. Also, when I see how stupid people tend to be, dismay and doubt that humanity will ever live up to its full potential. Fear that humanity will continue to wallow in fear, anger, bigotry, and violence. These fears creep in and taint my thinking. I then get angry at humanity, and take it out on whoever is handy; usually people whom I feel embody some aspect of that disgusting and hateful system. This is why I tend to target militant vegans: they embody rigid modeltheism. So do a lot of religious types, but targeting them is too easy and too boring.

I don't enjoy being filled with anger all the time. I wish I lived in a world where everyone was good to one another. If we did, it would most likely be a post-scarcity anarcho-communist utopia. That would be awesome. All the things in my life that fill me with fear and rage would vanish. But as long as those things exist, I find it nearly impossible to be a source of positive energy. I do generally try to aim my anger at deserving targets, though; racism, sexism, capitalism, corrupt RHP religions, and so on. I make a special exception for militant vegans because they're EVERYWHERE and they never fucking shut up, and I have a special hate-on for rigid modeltheism anyway. Which is why I also target the people who take skepticism to extremes of close-mindedness, like Dick Dorkins (Richard Dawkins), Carl Sagging (Carl Sagan), and the ass monkeys at CSICOP.

So if I don't like being an angry asshole, why am I a Satanist? Because it focuses on what is natural for human beings. It doesn't condemn any aspect of human nature. I think even LaVey had a kind of fucked-up idea of what constitutes human nature, but then so do most people in Western civilization. I don't believe hatred is a part of human nature. Fear, yes. But if we work to overcome fear, by striving to understand the things we fear, then fear and anger need never go into full hatred. The only thing that may seem to support the notion of hatred being part of human nature is the fact that negative energy feeds on itself and mates with itself and, thus, in a world full of fear and anger and hatred, those emotions become far easier to experience than more positive emotions.

And so I'm a Satanist, but one that disagrees with a lot of what LaVey said. Even the tone of his book: it just exudes this vibe of hatred. While understandable, I have found over the years that I don't like it. I still relate to it, I still resonate with it on an energy level, but I disagree with that energy and I disagree with lots of his points. Which is why I gave up the label "LaVeyan Satanist" ages ago, and became a kind of semi-theist Satanist.

That's another thing I disagree with LaVey on: while I agree that human gods are created by humanity, I don't feel this means they're not real to some degree. To rigidly believe in the atheistic point of view is at least as much of a mistake as to rigidly believe in the theistic POV. And again, I am strongly opposed to rigid modeltheism of all stripes. I dislike zealous atheists and zealous theists with equal fervor. I criticize both with equal fervor. Anyone whose mind has been locked shut by any kind of dogma is someone I oppose. Because minds are like parachutes: they only function when open. And in some ways, rigid atheists and rigid "skeptics" are worse than rigid believers, because they've convinced themselves that they are open minded, when nothing could be farther from the truth.

Anyway, I've gone on long enough. I hope I was clear enough. I have doubts about how many people will understand, and how much. But whatever. I just thought it was important to say.

The buses in Portland all run on something called BioDisel. This is a good thing, kinda, because biodiesel is renewable, where regular diesel is not. But OMG, the EXHAUST! Biodiesel puts out a much nastier stench than regular diesel. It's so bad that I gag every time I get a whiff of it, and have to keep from puking.

Worse... I'm prone to migraines. And if you've never had a migraine, count yourself lucky. The pain pulses and drills into your skull, making you nauseous and sensitive to light, sounds, and strong odors. I got a whiff of that biodiesel exhaust the other day amidst a migraine, and I had to stand leaning against the bus stop for several minutes to concentrate on keeping myself from puking. Because the absolute worst pain I've ever felt in my whole life is puking in the middle of a migraine. However bad it hurt before, the pain spikes to something like 5 times its normal level or more with each retch, which is Hell to go through.

Oddly, after the puking is done, I tend to feel better than I did before I puked, but that may just because the pain is less compared to the pain gone through during each retch.

The migraines and the puking are two of my many reasons for disliking alcohol; I deal with that kind of suffering all the time without a choice in the matter, I don't understand why anyone would risk that happening on purpose. Of course, the fact that alcohol smells like raw sewage, tastes like carbonated monkey diarrhea, and makes me sick to my stomach when I've had only a little bit of it, are other excellent reasons.

When I was in high school, I claimed it was against my religion to dissect animals, in order to get out of doing it. In reality, it was just against my religion to do something so totally gross. Well, and okay, I was a budding vegetarian at the time. (I'm feeling much better now!)

While watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and seeing frogs being dissected, it occurred to my Discordian nature to wonder what the teacher's reaction would have been if I'd said that dissection was against my religion, but vivisection wasn't. Now mind you, I wouldn't - even now - actually vivisect anything. But the look on the teacher's face would be fun to see.

Or better yet: "It's against my religion to dissect anything that's been in formaldehyde or other preservatives. There are specifics laid down in the Book of Books: the animal must be a freshly-killed specimen, and must be cooked and eaten after the dissection. Very specific prayers must be said during the dissection, during cooking, and during the meal, all to properly honor the spirit of the departed animal."

Good gods, but I wish I'd found Discordianism in high school. Would've made those four years much more fun and tolerable.

Some kids want to be firemen or police officers or teachers, nurses or doctors; I wanted to be an eternally youthful, immortal wizard who would use his powers to conquer the world and make his enemies pay... or the king of Hell, commanding legions of demons to overtake the earth. Or some other monster that could frighten and/or devour the bullies that picked on me. I wanted a demon for a pet. If I'd known about Satanism back then, I think I would have prayed to my guardian demon.

I think if Stargate:Atlantis had aired when I was a child, I think I would have wanted to be a Wraith. I was obsessed with monsters. Still am. Wanted one as a friend, guardian, or ally. Wanted one for a pet. Wanted to be one. I still do, I just know now that none of it is likely to happen.

Monsters are ugly to most people. To me, they are beautiful.

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
Yes

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?
Yes, actually.

3. Have you taken someones virginity?
Only when it was willingly given.

4. Is trust a big issue for you?
Yes.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
Yes.

6. What are you excited for?
Intelligence.

7. What happened tonight?
Stuff.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
I think it's disgusting when anyone gets really wasted.

9. Is confidence cute?
Depends on if it's appropriate confidence or not. Some of the most confident people in the world are also the most incompetent. In fact, it has been found out scientifically that the less competent a person is at a task, the more confident they generally are that it's easy.

10. What is the last beverage you had?
Spiced apple cider is the best that comes to mind.

( Under the cut )

Anon asked: Are you autistic?

I answered:

Yes, I am on the autism spectrum. Fairly high functioning. People still baffle me a lot, though. I have to recharge after being around other people for a long time, and I have almost no tolerance at all for mundanes. (Or as I prefer to call them, Cabbages.) I can only hang out with pagans, Satanists, and other similar folk. Though only the open-minded sort of those. I've met some pagans who are as bad as many Christians, and I can't tolerate that type.

I don't flap my hands, but I do rock back and forth if I have to stand up. The longer I stand, the more I move around. Sometimes when I sit down, I shake or bounce my leg up and down. Drives some people frakking nuts.

I tend to think of offline strangers in terms of either part of the background, possible threats, possible tools (in the sense of being able to make use of them), annoyances, or obstacles. Sometimes mundanes I know personally still get put in one of those categories. My landlord currently fits under three of those categories: tools, annoyances, and obstacles.

I also go through occasional phases of being twitchy in my own skin. Clothes can bug me to varying degrees. Normal men's shirts and T-shirts bug the everloving fuck out of me, so I have to shop in the women's section at times to get unisex-ish blouses, since the lower cut removes the annoyance. I can't wear rings anymore, they drive me crazy. I can only wear necklaces for a few hours at a time before I have to take them off. At home, I prefer nudity.

Sometimes I stim. I try not to do it very often, though; the sorts of things I stim on get very addictive for me and I end up sitting there doing it for hours and hours. Mostly sounds stim me; I have one of those noise-making tube things, a kid's toy, that is an especially addictive sound for me. Bagpipes are another. I could listen to bagpipe music for hours and not get tired of it.

But I'm on disability for a combo of my autism and lifelong depression. I tried like Hell for a decade to make a normal life work. But forms like job applications give me literal headaches as I try to twist my brain into a shape that can understand it. The SSDI form took me three hours to complete and I had the mother of all migraines afterward.

Once in a job, I gave 110% but I've always burned out faster and needed frequent short breaks. I have a degree of face blindness, too, and a crappy memory for certain things, so a frequent problem in many jobs was not recognizing a customer from one minute to the next. Then, too, I'm hard of hearing and my brain has a hard time distinguishing foreground voices from background voices. Add that to the high noise level of some jobs (like my last one), and I couldn't hear worth shit or remember what I'd heard for long. I also find it difficult to think when people are talking in the foreground, to the point where reading is almost impossible when someone is talking close enough to me to be understood.

Then my depression sucks the energy from me rapidly, causes mysterious aches and pains, and generally just fucks me over.

It took me about 25 years of my life to figure out that no, this wasn't normal, and it wasn't laziness. It is so frustrating when you think what you're going through is perfectly normal and wondering why you can't do the things other people are doing. It was so liberating to finally realize that my experience isn't normal, that most people have a lot more energy than I do, that most people are energized by other people and understand other people, as opposed to being constantly annoyed, frustrated, and baffled by these energy vampires everywhere. I swear, it really is like being a human in a society full of psychic vampires.

And that was probably a lot longer of a response than you wanted or needed. But yes, I am on the autism spectrum.

I'm not actually misanthropic. I don't actually hate all humanity. I hate humanity's stupidity and selfishness, people's lack of compassion and people's hypocrisy. Nobody gives a shit about anyone but themselves, but most of them pretend they do care. Me, I *do* care, and pretend to hate everything.

It's no use pretending you care if you don't. If people really cared about others, then Christianity would be a good religion full of good people being compassionate and helpful like Jesus said to, instead of this hateful religion that pisses on everyone else. Most self-proclaimed "Christian" groups have more in common with the Nazi party than they do with Christ's teachings. And when I say most, I mean 98% of all Christians are what I call Xians - too focused on the crucifix and the bullshit about Jesus being God and not focused at all on Jesus's actual teachings.

I only know a handful of true Christians; Christians that actually follow Jesus's One Commandment: "Love thy neighbor as thyself" with no exceptions.

I only know a handful of Xians who are worth even half a shit. The rest are selfish, unethical assholes who've never read the Bible, and so they don't realize that the God of the Old Testament is a genocidal maniac, the God of the New Testament isn't much better, and who don't know that there is only ONE commandment: "Love thy neighbor as thyself."

These... these Xians are just parroting the preachings of their pedophile priests and child-molesting clergy. Most of what passes for Christianity these days better fits the stereotypes of Satanism. THEIR god is the evil one, not mine.